MIXED NUTS

The Arctic Fox

2011-10-30T07:39:00.002-07:00

When I was around 8-9 years old, my father worked for an oil company way up near the North Pole and, while there, he made friends with the native Inuit population. One day, a man named Levi gave my father the snowy white fur hide of an Arctic fox, a fresh kill from a recent hunt, as a present.

Upon my father’s return home for a short visit, he gave me the sensuously thick fur hide, which was complete from nose to tail, including the paws. I stared at its dried and wrinkled face, touched the ears and whiskers, imagining what it might’ve looked like when it was alive and roaming the Arctic tundra. I was sad that it was killed for sport (just to obtain the fur), of course, but I nonetheless accepted it as a gift from a loving father. My mom tacked the hide up on my wall, right at the foot of my bed, so I could look up at it every night as I fell asleep. In retrospect, that might not have been a great idea.

A few days later, I awoke from an unsettling dream about the fox hunting me down in a vicious snowstorm, and at the foot of my bed, lying across my legs with its vacant eye sockets staring right at me, was the fur hide. Somehow, it had come lose from the wall and fell on top of me in this perfect position. Weird, right? Well, this story gets even weirder.

Over the next few weeks, I kept waking up from nightmares about the fox chasing me across a baren northern landscape only to find the fur hide lying on top of my bed, its head always facing me. My mom would tack it back up, using stronger and stronger nails, until its paws were decimated with Swiss cheese-like holes.

Finally, after a couple months of this, I decided that I needed to make peace with the soul of this once majestic creature and thank it for its sacrifice – something I doubt Levi did when he was ripping the fur off its still-warm carcass as a trophy. I was only nine at the time, but I had an intuitive, dare I say psychic-empathic, understanding of these kinds of metaphysical and theosophical situations, and so I just knew what had to be done in order to release the fox’s soul from what was left of its body.

I laid the fur hide out on the floor and performed a little ceremony, the details of which I won’t get into, as it was a very personal and private thing between me and the fox’s angry, vengeful spirit. Once it was over, I slept with the fox hide beside me for a few more days, just to make sure its soul had finally crossed over into the netherworld.

Hooray! No more bad dreams. So, I tacked the hide back up on my wall where it stayed for another twenty-five years, without incident.

Spooky, eh?

KJC

A Moving Experience

2011-09-18T13:47:00.005-07:00

The last week of June, 2011, I moved from Pickering, Ontario, to Ladysmith, which is a small town fifteen minutes south of Nanaimo, BC. I’d had plenty of experience moving from town to town within Ontario, so I thought I could handle a move halfway across the country without too much difficulty. Boy, was I wrong!

My first mistake was hiring Metropolitan Movers to load up my belongings (Vega Line Moving & Storage, in Richmond, BC, would deliver the stuff to my door in Ladysmith). They’d quoted me a reasonable price of $560 for the first 500 lbs. of furniture and personal belongings, then 11 cents for every pound after that. I lived in a 350 sq. ft. basement studio apartment with very little furniture, so, I’d calculated a final price of about $1,300, which represented every last dollar I had on this earth. I couldn’t afford one penny more.

Moving day came, and I waited for the movers to arrive at 10am. I waited...and waited. I called the office around noon to find out why they hadn’t shown up yet, and a female rep told me that their truck had broken down but would be at my place within the next two hours.

OK, shit happens. My flight to Vancouver didn’t leave until 1:30am the next morning, so that was fine.

And, so, I waited...and I waited. Called the office again around 4pm, and was told that the truck was now behind schedule picking up other peoples’ stuff in Toronto but would be at my place, for sure, around 6pm. That was cutting it a little close for my non-refundable flight to Vancouver. But, hey, no sense getting worked up over something that I can’t control, right?

I started to get hungry (threw out all of my perishable food), anxious and tired as my watch ticked past 8:30pm, with no moving truck in sight. Finally, while on the phone with a company rep at 9:37pm, the truck rolled into my driveway with three very tired men inside. Desperate to move things along as quickly as possible so I wouldn’t miss my flight, I helped the men load all of my stuff onto the truck. It didn’t go as smoothly as I would have liked but, thankfully, there was no major disaster to contend with.

The man in charge of the move filled out pages and pages of paperwork for me to sign, then asked for my destination address, which I’d already given to several other people at Metropolitan Movers during previous phone conversations over the past two weeks. I gave him my new address in Ladysmith, on Vancouver Island, where I’d be staying with my father until I found a new job and apartment in Nanaimo.

“Vancouver Island?” he asked. “You know there’s an extra $550 charge for the ferry ride, right?”

I panicked. “Uh, no. No one at Metro Movers told me anything about that – and I can’t afford it, either. I’m already giving you guys every last penny I have in this world.”

He shrugged. “Well, can you charge it to a credit card or borrow the money from someone?”

In desperation, I called my father and he offered to throw in the extra cash. (Yay, Dad!)

Exhausted and in pain from all the heavy lifting, I signed the paperwork and asked the man in charge how long it would take my stuff to reach my new home in Ladysmith.

“Five to seven days,” he said, which I thought was reasonable. I bid the three men good-bye around 11:30pm and called a cab to get me to the Toronto airport ASAP.

The flight was uneventful. Well, as uneventful as it can be for someone who hates to fly, is afraid of heights and gets serious motion sickness.

Nine days after getting all settled in at my father’s place, with only one change of clothes, my iPhone and the miscellaneous contents of my purse, I called Vega Line Moving & Storage to find out when they were going to deliver my stuff. The female customer service rep told me that the truck had yet to arrive at their warehouse in Richmond but was enroute.

I expressed my disappointment, since I’d been told it would only take seven days, at most.

“That’s seven days in transit,” said the rep. “Once your belongings are unloaded from the truck into our warehouse, we have to wait for the first available truck to take your stuff on the ferry to your home in Nanaimo.”

“Ladysmith,” I reminded her, then asked how much longer I had to wait.

“Next Wednesday, at the earliest,” she informed me.

“Another full week?! But you have all of my clothes, my government and legal files, my computer, which I need to write resumes and cover letters in order to find a job!”

She offered me a 5 percent discount for the inconvenience. I hung up the phone in disgust.

A week later, smack-dab in the middle of July, I called Vega Line again to get an ETA on my stuff, and the customer service rep (a different woman this time) said, “We have 6,000 pounds of furniture and belongings to deliver, and no truck big enough to carry the load across the ferry to Nanaimo, so you’re looking at another 7 to 10 days until one is available.”

I was livid. Again I explained that I had been living with only one change of clothes for three weeks, no computer, no interview outfits, no make-up or hairdryer, and it was imperative that I find a job before the end of the month (automatic withdrawals from my account with an 87 cent balance). I demanded that Vega Line deliver my stuff within the next three days.

“We don’t have your address,” the rep said, incredulously. “How can we deliver your stuff when you never even gave us your destination address?”

I pulled the phone away from my ear, stared at it in disbelief. She didn’t just say that to me, did she? I wondered to myself. I put the phone back to my ear. “You have my address. I’ve given it to every driver and every customer service rep I’ve talked to for the past six weeks.”

I heard her fussing with some paperwork, then, “Oh, yes, here it is. It just hadn’t been entered in the computer.” With a stern, unapologetic tone the woman insisted that I would just have to wait another week. End of discussion.

On July 20th, I called Vega Line Moving once again, certain that I would get another run-around. But instead I got some good news...sort of.

“Oh, yes. I remember you,” said the perky female rep. “After looking at the truck full of your personal belongings we guessed that it weighed a lot less than our original estimate, so, we re-weighed it and discovered that the load was 3,000 lbs. less than we originally thought. So, it looks like we actually could have delivered your stuff to you last week. Sorry about that. Anyway, it’s all sorted out now and we can deliver your stuff next Tuesday, the 26th.”

Awash with relief, I thanked her, said, “So, you’ll call for sure on Monday to confirm a delivery time on Tuesday?”

She agreed.

Next Monday I got the expected call. All was good – except for one thing. One huge thing.

“So, the total cost, including the ferry ride and taxes, minus the 5 percent discount we promised, is $4,069.24,” the female rep cheerfully informed me.

I sucked in a breath. “Uh, no. No, it isn’t. I’ve already done the calculations and it should be somewhere around $1,600.”

She tapped on her computer. “No, it’s definitely $4,069. And how will you be paying for that?”

“Look,” I said, “There must be some mistake. Three thousand-eight hundred pounds, at 11 cents per pound, is — ”

“It’s 75 cents per pound.”

“No, it isn’t,” I insisted. ‘When I booked this move almost two months ago, the rep at Metropolitan Movers quoted me a price of $560 for the first 500 lbs., then 11 cents for every pound after that.”

“It’s 75 cents. No one charges 11 cents. The standard fee across Canada is 75 cents per pound. That is the agreement we have with Metropolitan Movers. If you disagree with that, you’ll have to take it up with them. In the meantime, if you want your stuff delivered to you tomorrow morning, you must pay us $4,069.24 immediately, or we will sell your belongings at auction in order to recoup our money.”

By this time, I was on the floor in tears. Barely able to speak or think. I told the rep that I would call her back later in the day, once I’d straightened out this mess with Metropolitan Movers.

The female customer service rep at Metro couldn’t have been nicer to me. Once I had explained everything, through my sobbing gasps for breath, she informed me that the rep I first talked to in May, to book the move, had been fired for incompetence. Giving people the wrong quote etc. She told me to calm down, that everything would be OK. She’d talk to her boss and see if he could negotiate some sort of special arrangement with Vega Line, to get me a credit of some kind in the weeks ahead, as restitution for their massive screw-up. In the meantime, I did have to pay Vega Line the full amount they were asking for, or they would indeed sell my stuff.

My father, bless his eternal soul, is not a rich man. But he nonetheless offered to put the entire $4,069 charge on his credit card in order to ensure delivery of my belongings the next morning. If I thought that was the end of my nightmare...Oh, no, my friends. I was deeply mistaken.

The truck pulled up right on time the next morning, and the men started unloading all of my furniture and boxes. Furniture and electronics that were chipped, scratched and cracked with pieces missing. Boxes that were ripped, crushed and smushed, with contents missing, slightly damaged or a complete write-off. Eighty percent of my artwork and ceramics were destroyed. Twenty percent of my furniture and electronics had to be thrown right into the trash. My toiletries (i.e. deodorant, razors, body lotion, Q-Tips etc.), vitamins, hairdryer, make-up and professional cosmetic brushes (estimated value: $400) wasn’t in the box I packed it in. In fact, it was completely missing. And if that wasn’t bad enough, my $5,000 worth of suede and leather clothing (all of it custom dyed and custom tailored) was dumped in a crumpled heap at the bottom of a 5 ft. high box which was filled to the top with miscellaneous crap – after I’d been promised (and paid $25 for) it would end up in a special wardrobe box with a hanging rack to keep them neat before making the trek across Canada.

I looked over my contract to see how much the moving company’s insurance would pay for the estimated $900 in damage...and discovered, much to my dismay, that they only pay out a few CENTS PER POUND for damaged or missing goods. Not their actual replacement value. So, I was looking at a refund of maybe $18 to $20?

Forget it. Just...forget it.

So, here it is, seven weeks later. Metropolitan Movers has yet to contact me again about a refund or credit because of the screw-up on their quote. And Vega Line blissfully trucks on, completely unconcerned about the chaos and emotional strife their profound incompetence has caused one of their customers.

KJC

Closing the Book on 'The Black Tower'

2011-02-28T03:32:00.002-08:00

It was a hard decision but after 2 ½ years online, during which I'd established a worldwide fan base of over 50,000 readers, I've decided to shut down the website for The Black Tower webcomic series. It's not a permanent thing. I've kept the domain name ( www.theblacktowercomics.com ) and fully intend to relaunch someday, probably with a few altered illustrations and a line or two of dialogue. But I just felt that the time had come to abandon one creative venture that wasn't really working out for me, financially speaking, and get cracking on developing some other ideas that have been kicking around in my head for quite a while.

I'm very proud of the hard work that I, my co-writer, Jeff Mariotte, and illustrator/colorist, Donald Jackson, put into this project, which has been a labour of love for me since I started working on the project back in 1996. First conceived as a series of adult novels, it later evolved into a TV series concept before I finally settled on the format that my writing skills seem best suited for: a webcomic/graphic novel series.

Throughout every phase of The Black Tower's metamorphosis I had dozens of supporters who eagerly anticipated the project's debut, whether it was in bookstores, on TV or the Internet. Most surprising to me was receiving emails from some pretty big names in the entertainment industry. Folks who write for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Smallville, Supernatural, Lost, Heroes, Star Trek, Stargate, Battlestar Galactica, The Collector, Blood Ties...all of them asking to write scripts for The Black Tower, should I ever manage to sell the TV rights.

Also surprising to me was getting emails from some equally impressive names in the comics industry asking to contribute to the webcomic/graphic novel series. That's how Jeff Mariotte came on board the project – and I am profoundly grateful for his guidance and friendship as I stumbled my way into an unexpected career as a graphic novelist.

A few months after The Black Tower's successful debut as a webcomic back in August 2008, David Wohl, Editor in Chief at Radical Publishing, contacted me to say that he enjoyed the premier issue and although they could not, at that time, publish TBT in book form, he liked my writing style so much he wanted me to submit five or six comic book pitches for future development by Radical Comics (and, subsequently, their feature film division).

Well, you could've knocked me over with a feather.

An opportunity like this is literally once in a million...and I'm squandering it. So consumed have I been over the past two years with trying to secure financing for a second issue of The Black Tower, via corporate sponsorship/advertising, that I've neglected every other opportunity that's come my way, both in the comics and TV industry.

Well, not anymore.

David Wohl has been incredibly patient with me over the past year or so. But now the time has come to temporarily set aside my aspirations for The Black Tower and deliver those pitches I promised Radical before they finally get fed up with me and move on. I also have a few TV series ideas (supernatural dramas and reality/lifestyle series) I'd like to develop for network television.

Once I've reestablished myself in the comics industry, and amassed an even larger fan base through the publication of new books under the Radical banner, I'll hopefully have the money I need to continue self-publication of The Black Tower webcomic series. In the meantime, I intend to turn the premier issue of TBT into a .PDF file for fans who wish to receive a copy via email.

Hugs and blessings to the thousands of you, from Japan to Chile and everywhere in between, who have supported my efforts to turn The Black Tower into an outrageously successful transmedia project dedicated to social, environmental and animal welfare causes. Although I fell far short of that mark – mostly because I launched the project at the beginning of the economic crash of 2008 and couldn’t secure the advertising dollars I needed to stay afloat – the fan mail, and support from my industry peers, keeps coming. That means a lot to me and I thank you all very much!

KJC

Bullies 101

2011-01-06T04:21:00.006-08:00

I've had to deal with bullies all of my life. Some of my earliest memories, since the age of five, have involved encounters with physically and emotionally abusive assholes who, for whatever reason, decided to make my life a living hell. Regrettably, the growing use of cell phones, social media websites and blogs among adolescents, teenagers and supposedly mature adults has only made the bullying phenomenon worse since I first faced these pathetic douche-bags back in kindergarten, and it breaks my heart every time I hear about a young person committing suicide because they think it's their only means of escape.

In an effort to share what I have learned and, hopefully, be an inspiration to others to stay strong and not give up hope, below is a list of some of the bullies I've had the misfortune of encountering in my life.

SCHOOLYARD BULLIES
I grew up in Cornwall, Ontario. A small mill town on the St. Lawrence River, about an hour’s drive west of Montreal. Every brick, every tree, every molecule of oxygen in that grimy little town was saturated with the stench of sulphur and other noxious chemicals from the Domtar paper factory, located in the west end, and (IMHO) it greatly affected the brains and personalities of the 45,000 denizens who dwelled there. Anyone who expressed a talent or interest in the creative or performing arts was outcasted and bullied by their peers, as actor Ryan Gosling can attest. He and I both grew up in Cornwall and, although I was a few years older than him, we were both repeatedly brutalized by schoolmates who had little tolerance for anyone who dared to be different, to express freedom of thought and exercise their gifts. Fortunately for Ryan, his mother removed him from that situation and home schooled him. I, on the other hand, was not so fortunate.

I had a bit of an attitude problem when I was a kid. By “attitude” I mean I was courteous and respectful, and expected the same in return from those I befriended. I was also far more mature than my peers and had a strong sense of right from wrong. Sadly, I was disappointed time and again by schoolmates who were arrogant and cruel to everyone around them, who borrowed my belongings and then either lost or damaged them beyond repair, who threatened to end our “friendship” (or beat the shit out of me) if I didn’t do whatever they demanded, which sometimes included shoplifting, throwing rocks through peoples’ windows, smoking, drinking, taking drugs or giving the cold shoulder to other friends who’d been nothing but loyal to me. You know that old saying “With friends like these, who needs enemies?”. Well, my entire childhood was filled with ruthless frenemies that I could never trust or count on to behave with decency and respect.

It also didn’t help matters that I was...shall we say gifted with paranormal sensitivities? Somewhere around age eight or nine I became aware that I could, on occasion, sense the thoughts and feelings of those around me and predict future events. FYI: it is so not cool to tell a classmate that you’re sorry his grandfather is going to pass away in his sleep the next morning – and he does. That little slip-up got me branded as a witch by my peers at a Catholic grade school, and for the next two years I endured some pretty brutal taunts and beatings. The classmate whose grandfather had died cornered me on the school bus and blew salt into my eyes in an effort to exorcise the evil inside me. Later, I was run over by a boy on a bike (still got the scar on the back of my leg), held under water and nearly drowned by three girls during swimming class, poisoned with Drano by a classmate who cheerfully offered to share his can of Coke, and set on fire – twice – by a group of kids chanting “Burn the witch! Burn the witch!”

Back in those days, virtually nothing was done to help the victims of schoolyard bullying. As far as the school staff was concerned, if they didn’t witness the event, it didn’t happen. In fact, reporting the abuse only made thing worse. As for parental intervention...well, my parents were clueless and ineffectual in dealing with the issue, so, I was left to fend for myself. It wasn’t until I reached age 15 that the schoolyard bullying stopped. By then, I’d learned to love and accept everything that was weird and wonderful about me, and made short work of anyone who tried to take a stab at me, both literally and figuratively.

CO-WORKER BULLIES
A few weeks before my 19th birthday, in 1987, I got the coolest job ever. Working the confection stand at the only single screen movie theatre in town. The manager, Glenn, was quite a character. His very first job was working at the theatre as a teenager, training to be a projectionist. As the years passed, he moved up the ranks to manager. A position he, regrettably, was not entirely qualified for.

I loved Glenn like a favourite uncle (I got married at the theatre 30 minutes before a Saturday matinée, and Glenn was my husband’s Best Man), and did my best to keep things running smoothly. I had a strong work ethic and always did what I was told, when I was told. After a couple years working the concession stand, he promoted me to assistant manager (unofficially and with no real power, mind you, because Glenn didn’t think a chick should have that much control over the theatre – or him). My responsibilities were to train new staff, ensure guest safety and comfort, fill in for ill or vacationing staff and assist with minor repairs to the building. Because of my background in business management, marketing and public relations, he also relied on me to be the friendly face of the theatre, to warmly welcome guests, promote the business in the community and devise marketing strategies to bring kids into the Saturday afternoon matinées. I absolutely loved my job but it had some serious – and I mean serious – drawbacks.

As I said earlier, I adored Glenn but he was truly inept when it came to managing a constantly revolving staff, and the thousands of customers who poured through our doors to see movies like Aliens, Terminator 2, Die Hard, Ghost, and Star Trek V & VI. He had no backbone when it came to enforcing workplace policies and procedures, and often hired losers and slackers who were only putting in face-time for the cash ($3.75 an hour. Wow!). They cared very little for the job and even less for their co-workers.

One co-worker in particular, I’ll call him “Steve”, was a bad apple, right to the core. A 21 year old gay man with a major chip on his shoulder, he hated everyone and had a persecution complex that bordered on psychosis. He bullied the staff and dominated Glenn, who mostly just hid in his office when things got ugly, too afraid to fire him for fear of repercussions. All of the staff, including myself, tried to stay the hell out of Steve’s way in order to avoid the stinging insults, snide remarks and threats of violence. He occasionally got physical with me, grabbing my arm, pushing me against a wall – he even threatened to kill me when one of his 16 year old boy-toys started flirting with me. It was a major relief to everyone when Steve quit after four months in order to attend college in another city. Good riddance to bad rubbish!

EMPLOYER/CLIENT BULLIES
Soon after my divorce in the late 1990s, I launched a temporary services agency, called P. A. Plus (your personal assistant – plus!), which remains my main source of income to this day. I provide a wide range of services, including secretarial and administrative work, catering and event-planning, floral arrangements and gift baskets, shopping and errands, house/pet-sitting, home and office cleaning/organizing, writing, graphic arts and photography services, marketing, public relations and promotions. I even do haircuts, manicures, make-up application, wardrobe/fashion consulting and hypno-therapeutic massage (I put people in a light hypnotic trance as I perform a full-body massage to help them relax, overcome personal/professional issues and motivate them to fulfill their ambitions and desires).

I’ve had dozens of clients from all walks of life. Architects, accountants, interior decorators, structural engineers, general contractors, computer scientists, waste management consultants, real estate developers, bike shop owners, photographers, commercial property managers, fitness club owners – even a few celebrities. My training in psychology and sociology, combined with my natural empathic abilities, has helped me cope with a wide variety of personalities. I’ve had some frustratingly indecisive clients who constantly changed their minds about what they wanted from me, while other clients were very precise in their instructions and expectations. I had an Academy Award nominated client who gave me expensive gifts in an effort to woo me into his bed (not gonna happen!), and a few high-octane clients with big personalities – and even bigger egos (think Tony Stark/Iron Man). That’s cool. I can totally handle that. What I can’t handle are the ruthless, caustic, self-indulgent whack-job clients.

In the spring of 2010, I moved from Ottawa (my home for the past 15 years), to Toronto in order to take a full-time, live-in position as the personal assistant and household manager of “Gary” and “Mary”, a wealthy, jet-setting couple in their 50s, with a five year old boy that I was expected to baby-sit from time to time. During the first few days of my employment I developed an affection for their son, “Evan”. Sweet kid, very well-behaved. The same, however, could not be said for his mother. By the end of my first week, I realized I’d made a horrible, horrible mistake. As kind, gentle and respectful as Gary was, Mary was the complete opposite. An immature, selfish, self-indulgent Jewish princess who went out of her way to make me feel small, insecure and unappreciated at every opportunity.

I’m a well-educated, highly-skilled professional in my early 40s (not to mention a public figure in the entertainment industry with a worldwide fan base), and yet she kept treating me like I was an insignificant peasant, fresh off the boat from Cambodia. Remember the original Star Trek episode entitled “Elaan of Troyius” about an abrasive spoiled brat of a princess whose tears made men fall in love with her? Well that was Mary, only without the tears. She bullied everyone around her, in person and on the phone, trash-talked people behind their backs all the time, and had the same kind of tantrums you’d expect from a three year old (screaming, throwing things, slamming doors etc.), with no regret or remorse for her actions. Embarrassed by his wife’s behaviour, Gary felt compelled to explain that because Mary had come from a wealthy and privileged background, with a throng of servants who catered to her every whim since she was a child, she treated people in the “service industry” (meaning everyone from general contractors and interior decorators, to teachers, nurses, waiters and nannies) like they were beneath her.

Naturally, I was dreading the idea of spending the next five years of my life working for that bitch on wheels (I signed a long-term contract), and wondered how the hell I was going to get myself out of this situation. Thankfully, the perfect solution presented itself less than two weeks into my new job when it was discovered that Evan was allergic to my two cats, Aries and Gillian, who lived with me in the nanny’s suite. With her thin mouth twisted into a grimace of distain, Mary insisted that I just had to go. A few days later I was outta there, dead broke but very, very happy to be free of the clutches of that screeching banshee.

CYBER BULLIES
Because I work in show business, I have intimate access to certain people in the industry. Actors, screenwriters, producers etc. A few years ago, I contacted a Los Angeles-based actor I’d never met before, hoping he’d be interested in a supporting role on a TV series I was developing for network television. This actor, let’s call him “PL”, was married, with a successful career in the industry up to that point. Although he was not an A-lister, he had an international fan following and an official website in order to promote his work and make himself available to his fans.

PL liked my pitch and agreed to come onboard, both of us hoping that having his name attached to the project would increase my odds of selling the show. With PL’s permission, I posted a notice on his message board to introduce myself and announce that he was involved with the project. Dozens of fans from all over the world posted their congratulations and well-wishes. I even got an email from “Trista”, one of PL’s most ardent admirers. She was very excited by the news, so I emailed back to tell her how much I appreciated her support. She replied, telling me a little about herself and I responded, telling her a little bit more about myself. Soon, we were corresponding eight to ten times a week, getting very friendly and personal with each other. At no time did I suspect that Trista wasn’t nearly as mentally or emotionally stable as she seemed in her emails. It was only after about seven months of communicating with my “sista-friend” via email that I discovered some very shocking and disturbing news about her.

While surfing the Internet one afternoon, I stumbled upon a website whose sole purpose was for people to post rude and disgusting jokes, stories, insults, celebrity rumors, porn pics…just the absolute worst things you would never want to see on the Internet. To my absolute horror and dismay, I found several posts from Trista discussing me and my relationship with PL, who had become a dear friend of mine by that point. She copy/pasted excerpts from our numerous email exchanges where I mentioned my unhappy marriage and subsequent divorce, details of my health/weight problems and brush with cancer, my social, religious and political views…just so many very personal and private things. In Trista’s posts, there were about 25 of them, she insulted and scoffed at every aspect of my personal and professional life, my physical appearance, my intelligence and various creative talents. She condemned my relationship with PL and suggested that he and I were having an affair on his wife. Trista encouraged anyone reading her posts to join in the “fun” of insulting and degrading me and, much to my chagrin, many people did.

I emailed Trista to confront her but she just laughed me off saying she had the right to free speech and would go on saying anything she liked about me. It was only now that I realized just how jealous she was of my friendship with PL. He and I emailed each other and talked often on the phone, and yet he never replied to any of her emails. Now that she knew I found her disgusting message board posts, she went back to the website and posted my real name (I had a different professional name back then), my email address, home address and cell phone number, urging anyone reading the info to find me and take me out – and I don’t mean to dinner!

The next few weeks were pure hell for me. I got dozens of phone calls in the middle of the night from men whispering “Slut!”, “I’m gonna get you, cunt!”, “You’re dead, you fucking bitch!”. I also got anonymous emails from people detailing how they were going to kidnap, rape, torture and kill me. I wanted to go to the police but, after discussing the situation with PL, we realized that if I did, this whole thing – which, so far, was just a bunch of really juvenile assholes having cruel fun – would turn into a media shitstorm that would deeply affect his marriage and his career.

So, I changed my phone number, cancelled my email account, went totally off the grid for three months while I waited for things to die down. I had my lawyer monitor the offending website and track Trista’s actions, in the real world and online, over the next year or so. Eventually, she got bored with attacking me and moved on with her life which, unfortunately, hasn’t amounted to much. As for PL, he got divorced a couple of years ago (which had nothing to do with me), moved to Europe and started a family with a lovely young woman. We remain on friendly terms to this day.

KJC

Happy New Year?

2011-01-06T04:16:00.002-08:00

Well, there’s no other way to put it:

2010 blew chunks!

With the fallout from the economic crash of 2008 still affecting people and businesses around the world, jobs were scarce and money was tight. I managed to keep my head above water for the first few weeks of 2010 but then I lost a few more clients due to the recession and, by mid February, found myself unable to pay basic living expenses.

There was a ray of hope in March, when I found full-time employment as a live-in personal assistant and household manager for a wealthy couple in their 50s. But that ended less than three weeks later when I was let go due to their infant son’s allergic reaction to my two cats, who lived with me in the basement nanny’s suite. So, just days before my 42nd birthday, I suddenly found myself homeless, unemployed and flat, dead broke.

If that wasn’t bad enough, while I was living in Toronto, a water pipe broke in my former apartment in Ottawa, which was storing about 60% of my belongings (clothes, shoes, books, legal documents, income tax returns, office supplies, school records and diplomas, movie and TV memorabilia etc.) turning everything to mouldy slush in the 8” flood. Thankfully, my cousin Tina and her husband, who live in a quiet suburb just outside of Toronto, let me sleep on the floor in the basement of their home (with what little I could salvage from the flood piled in boxes beside me) while I tried to find a job and get my life back in order.

After a few weeks of living with my cousin, her friend, David, who owns a janitorial services company, hired me to clean a glass factory (which I was very, very grateful for). Then, I got another job working at a health club in Toronto. Over the next few months, both clients increased my hours/pay to the point where I could financially support myself and I moved into a little bachelor apartment in Pickering (a 10 minute drive from Toronto) at the end of July.

October was a bad month, with the double-whammy of losing my beloved pet bunny, Gemini-Omega, to a slow, cruel death (chocolate poisoning combined with physical injury from a fall), and finding out that I had Type 2 diabetes. At least now I knew why I’d lost 50 lbs. and had been experiencing blurred vision, excessive thirst and fatigue, and loss of feeling in my fingertips over the past year or so. Unfortunately, the devastating diagnosis meant that I would be forced to make a major lifestyle change – a change that I continue to resist to this day, much to my detriment (No chocolate, donuts, cakes, pies and ice cream? Yeah, well, fuck you! I’m eating them anyway.)

December brought even more financial stability, with a further increase in my hours/pay and some promising job prospects in the entertainment industry, including a few comic book deals, which would boost my public profile/fan base, making it possible for me to resume work on The Black Tower project. I haven’t given up hope on that. Never will.

So, 2011 is looking pretty good right about now.

KJC

The 'Honesty" Meme

2010-02-05T13:10:00.004-08:00

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Coffee (still drinking it).

2. Where was your profile picture taken?
In my living room.

3. Can you play Guitar Hero?
No. I have no interest in that stuff.

4. Name someone who made you laugh today?
My darling feline children, Aries & Gillian.

5. How late did you stay up last night and why?
It was about 4:30 a.m., my usual bedtime.

6. If you could move somewhere else, would you?
I’m in the process of doing that right now.

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
I haven’t attended a fireworks celebration since about 1989, so I can’t say for sure.

8. Do you believe ex's can be friends?
I’ve only had one serious boyfriend and one husband, neither of whom I’m still speaking to. So, based on personal experience, I’d have to say no.

9. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
I’ve never really cared for it.

10. When was the last time you cried really hard?
I cried when I lost my bunny, Gemini, to a deadly illness. I cried when my cat, Tia, got lost/ran away. But I think the last time I cried so hard I was down on my knees sobbing in agony was when I learned that an actor friend I was about to become romantically involved with back in 2005, shot himself in the head while on the run from police after shooting a stalker fan/ex-girlfriend in the face, blinding the mother of three and disfiguring her forever. Rest in Peace, Mal.

11. Who took your profile picture?
I took it.

12. Was yesterday better than today?
About the same.

13. Can you live a day without TV?
HELL NO!

14. Are you upset about anything?
Trying to renovate my apartment while preparing for a move to Toronto has made me very anxious and a little upset because things keep going wrong.

15. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
No, no. no. I wish to remain gloriously single for the rest of my life.

16. What items could you not go without during the day?
Computer, TV and iPhone. You just try to take these away from me and I’ll stab you in the eye with a pencil.

17. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
A message from my employer. It reads simply “k”, which is short for OK.

18. How do you feel about your life right now?
After years of struggling to make a decent living in Ottawa, I think the move to Toronto next month is going to change my life for the better.

19. Do you hate anyone?
I hate a lot of people. Do you want a list?

20. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
Yes. I don’t touch that crap.

21. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Not out loud – but I know they’re thinking it.

22. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
Ed McMahon telling me that I’ve just won $10,000,000. But he’s dead, right? Just my luck...

23. Name something you have to do tomorrow:
Clean and renovate my apartment for the new tenant.

24. Do you think too much or too little?
Way too much.

25. Do you smile a lot?
While in conversation with people, yes. When I’m alone, no. It gives me a migraine.

The 3s Meme

2010-02-05T13:03:00.003-08:00

My sister sent this to me to fill out. Kinda gives you an insightful peek into my personality, eh? Anyway, here it is:

Three names I go by:
1. Kelly
2. Pookie
3. Miss Jackson, if you’re nasty.

Three Jobs I have had in my life other than my current one
1. Movie theatre candy/popcorn girl
2. TV production assistant
3. Radio personality

Three Places I have lived
1. Cornwall (aka the Armpit of Ontario)
2. Resolute Bay, NWT, when I was 10 years old. Hell truly had frozen over
3. Oshawa. I was six. I liked it there.

Three Favorite drinks
1. Water
2. Tea, both hot & cold
3. Coffee

Three TV Shows that I watch religiously
1. Fringe
2. Supernatural
3. Smallville

Three places I have been
1. New York City, several times.
2. Vancouver, B.C.. Loved it! Gotta go back someday.
3. Toronto

People that text me regularly
1. Spencer, my favourite client/employer
2. Keanu
3. Brent

Three of my favorite foods
1. Chocolate
2. Perogies
3. Pizza

Three things I do daily
1. Work at my computer/check email
2. Tidy my apartment
3. Fiddle with my iPhone. Love those aps!

Three cars I've owned
1. Suzuki Swift
2. Kia
3. Smart Car

Three things that inspire me
1. Music, especially anything by Loreena McKennitt
2. My ability to adapt and endure. Turn lemons into lemonaide etc.
3. Art, architecture and interior design.

Three books I love
1. Dune
2. The Shining
3. Interview with the Vampire

Three pets you've had
1. Tia (cat)
2. Randy (guinea pig)
3. Ralf (guinea pig)

Three serious relationships
1. Michael (ex-husband)
2.
3.

Three secrets
1. They will remain secrets
2.
3.

Three future goals
1. Get The Black Tower into production as a network TV series
2. Establish myself in the Toronto film & television industry
3. Write articles and stories for various magazines across North America

Three of my greatest struggles
1. Never having enough money to pay for basic living expenses – and SHOES!
2. Maintaining a positive outlook when the entire world around me is crumbling to shit.
3. Understanding how cars and computers work. It just mystifies me.

Starting Fresh in 2010

2010-01-03T20:42:00.005-08:00

Last year was far from spectacular for me, as the weak North American economy severely hindered my ability to acquire new clients and hold on to the ones I already had. A few of them went bankrupt or had to lay-off staff (that would be me) just to stay afloat. Because of that, I didn't have the money to put out a second issue of The Black Tower webcomic series which, to date, has well over 20,000 fans world wide (thanks to all of you for your continuing loyalty and interest in the project). In August, a gorgeous Emmy winning actor I'd been dating off and on for the past three years decided to try and get back with the wife he separated from nearly a decade ago (bummer, man). Then, in October, I lost my beloved pet bunny to a brutally painful chronic illness. In November, I inexplicably started to lose weight which, in the grand scheme of things, is actually a good thing considering I've tipped the scales at 188 lbs. for the past 15 years. But the dramatic loss of 23 lbs. in six weeks left me feeling weak, tired and dizzy all the time. Now that my dress size has gone down four notches, absolutely nothing in my closet fits me anymore.

As you can see, 2009 sucked big time!

But things are a little better now, both personally and professionally. I have a small stable of financially secure clients who pay me on time, and a promise from the editor in chief of a highly respectable L.A. based comic book publisher to seriously consider any comic book series ideas I might pitch him in the months ahead (just not The Black Tower, unfortunately). This man is an industry veteran, on the same level as Brian K. Vaughan, Geoff Johns and Jimmy Palmiotti, so I feel deeply honoured that he approached me with this wonderful, totally unexpected invitation to pitch him new ideas for potential development in late 2010/early 2011. More news on that later.

Also, after 14 years of trying desperately to earn a living in Ottawa's so-called film & television industry, I finally decided to give up and seek out new opportunities in Toronto, where many of my industry friends have made a decent living, despite the recent downturn in film & television production across the country.

I'm healthy (well, I have a cavity that needs to be taken care of). My two cats and two bunnies are healthy (considering their age). I'm exploring new job prospects in Toronto and I have a strong support system of friends, family and fans who all wish me well.

And so the year 2010 begins with so much hope and promise.

How Much More Can I Take?

2009-10-30T15:48:00.004-07:00

October has been a really bad month. This week, the absolute worst so far this year. I just want to crawl under a rock and die.

Among many personal/business & financial nightmares I've had to deal with lately, tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of the day that my darling kitty, Tia, ran away/got lost. So, I was already feeling really depressed. And then I come home from work an hour ago to find one of my three adorable Netherlands dwarf rabbits, Gemini-Alpha, dead in her cage.

Gemi would've celibrated her 8th birthday next spring, and she could've lived another three or four years, if it wasn't for her chronic allergies. Household dust, fur, dander, wood chip bedding, shredded newspaper bedding, sawdust bedding, aerosol air fresheners -- even hay and pollen. You name it. She was allergic to it.

I named her Gemini-Alpha because right from the day I took her and her twin sister, Gemini-Omega, home from the Humane Society I could see she was a fighter, always ready for a scrap with her two cage-mates. She ruled the roost and everybody just stayed the Hell out of her way. But when Gemi was sick, which was quite often, I could pet her and cuddler her and hold her in my arms, as it was the only time she was too weak to try and take a chunk out of my finger.

This last allergy attack, which lasted several weeks, just took everything out of her, and she finally succumbed to a massive upper-respiratory infection. I'm just very, very sad that she died alone in her cage, without me there to comfort her and guide her into that dark night.

Good-bye, my sweet Gemi. I'm gonna miss you, babe! :-(

KJC

Little Mischief

2009-08-27T00:04:00.002-07:00

My darling Tia, who ran away/got lost last October 31st. I still remember the day I brought her home. Gosh, I miss her. :-(

KJC

www.icanhascheezburger.com

My Name in Lights on Broadway

2009-05-24T07:52:00.005-07:00

My famous comic book artist friend (and The Black Tower cover artist), Jason Badower, did yet another Heroes online graphic novel, which was published to the Internet last Tuesday (click HERE). Jason tries very hard to put out his absolute best work on these webcomics -- even when he's sick as a dog -- and this issue was no exception. The poor boy was practically on Death's door while toiling away at his computer, trying to have it done on NBC's deadline.

As an added bonus, Jason managed to slip in several shout-outs in this issue, which are like semi-secret "Hey, wassup? Love you!" messages to family, friends and fans. What a thrill it was to see my name in one of the pages.

Did you spot me?

I'll give you a hint: right-hand side.

Jason's been a long-time supporter of The Black Tower, so I fully intend to return the shout-out to him in the next issue of my webcomic. When that will be, exactly, I don't know. Hopefully around October/November, but with the economy the way it is, I may not have the sponsorship money to put out Issue #2 until early 2010. Sorry, gang. I know you're all anxious to read the next issue, if the hundreds of fan emails I get are any indication, and I sincerely appreciate your patience and your support!

KJC

The Allure of the Older Man

2009-04-26T12:11:00.006-07:00

When I was a kid, in the late ’70s and early ’80s, I had the usual school girl crushes on Tiger Beat regulars such as Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garrett and Mark Hamill. Y’know, young, hot, puppy-dog cute celebrities that were maybe 10 to 15 years older than me. But, at the same time, I found myself gravitating more and more towards the “mature gentlemen”, shall we say.

My first older man crush was on Michael Nouri. I was 11 when I first saw him in the short-lived 1979 TV series The Curse of Dracula and, boy, did I fall hard for this smoking hot 34 year old actor. So much so that I started a fan club devoted to him. It only had three members, me and my two best girlfriends at the time. We called ourselves the “Brides of Dracula” and used red magic markers to dot little bite marks on our necks to signify that we were his loyal servants. Looking back on it now, I can see just how silly we must’ve seemed to everyone at school and at home. But, at the time, the feelings I had for Michael seemed very real. I still get a little thrill watching him on Damages. The man may be 63, now, but he’s still smoking hot!

My next crush was on the very sexy and distinguished British actor, Terence Stamp. I first saw him in Superman II as General Zod in 1980. I was 12, he was 41 and every inch the smouldering and seductive older man I had, by then, developed an attraction to. I have followed his career ever since, and every time I see the soon-to-be 70 year old actor in a movie or on TV I think back to that moment in Superman II when he commanded everyone to “kneel before Zod!”. Oh, yeah, I’ll kneel…and while I’m down there I’m gonna do things to you that’ll have Ursa taking notes, baby!

When I was 15, my attraction to tall, dark and handsome older men continued with Canadian actor, Duncan Regehr. He was in his early 30s when he first co-starred in the campy fantasy TV series, Wizards and Warriors, followed by V a year later. Oh, those eyes...that voice! I greatly enjoyed his work in Star Trek: Next Gen and DS9 but, lately, it seems he’s put acting on the back burner in order to concentrate more on his artwork. Not too many people know this but Duncan is a very talented and successful painter. Hopefully, the still-gorgeous 56 year old will return to the small screen as a regular on one of my favourite TV shows. Hey, I hear they’re shooting a remake of V. Quick, somebody call his agent!

My crush on the delectable Malcolm McDowell came much later. I had watched some of his earlier work (Clockwork Orange, Time After Time, Cat People) on video when I was in my early 20s and thought he was good-looking but kinda geeky. Not really my type. But then along came Star Trek: Generations, the movie that first blended the folks from classic Trek with the gang from Next Gen. When I first saw Malcolm, dressed head to toe in black leather with spikey white hair, in the role of Dr. Tolian Soran, I fell madly in lust with the then 51 year old actor. Malcolm will be 66 in a few weeks and his career is still going strong. I loved him in Entourage and Heroes, and hope he’ll consider taking a role in The Black Tower TV series, should it ever go into production.

All my life I’ve been attracted to older men. My ex-husband was 10 years my senior, and the three men I’m dating now (a TV star, a movie star and a rock star) are all much older than me – although I don’t think I’d turn down a date with a 20 year old, either. I like to balance things out, y’know. Just to be fair. :-)

KJC

Hot Chicks with Light Sabres

2009-04-18T09:31:00.001-07:00

Just go. NOW!

You can thank me later.

KJC

So, Why Isn't Issue #2 Online Yet?

2009-02-14T10:11:00.002-08:00

A lot of people have been asking me when Issue #2 of The Black Tower will be released, as it's been about six months since the webcomic series made its debut last August. Well, the script is almost complete but the problem now is money, plain and simple. The Black Tower is ad supported and each issue costs about $6,000 CAD ($7,000 USD) to produce. After the North American economy tanked last summer I've had the absolute worst luck trying to get sponsors to help pay for the second issue. I've contacted dozens of companies. Everyone from multi-billion dollar mega corporations to small operations with less than 100 staff members. Nobody's got the cash to "waste" advertising on a webcomic (especially one about demons and vampires) when they're closing up stores and laying off workers. So, until I find sponsors willing to help out, or until I manage to scrape together $6,000 to $7,000, Issue #2 will remain on hold -- and I can't tell you how sad and frustrated that makes me feel. :-(

KJC

Women in Comics

2009-01-17T10:33:00.004-08:00

As a follow-up to my recent post about nudity in comic books, I'd like to talk more about women in comics. Specifically, those who write or draw them, review and critique them as journalists -- or just love them as devoted fans.

I've been reading comic books since I was 8 or 9 years old and enjoy a wide variety of them. Mostly horror comics, followed by the classic superheroes such as Batman (all-time fav), Superman and Spiderman. I was never really into the goofy/funny stuff, like Archie. I like my comics dark and heavy, with lots of action and intrigue. The Dark Knight, Spawn and Witchblade top that list.

I've been a writer for over 20 years, only the last year of which has been as a comic book writer, and in that time I have received much praise from regular comic book fans as well as a few famous industry pros, who've not only wished me best of luck with The Black Tower but have asked to be a part of my writing team for both the webcomic and TV series (which is still in development for network television).

But in addition to that praise I've also experienced some really irritating, contemptuous and condescending attitudes among regular comic book readers and a handful of pros (all of them men) who think that my work is too thoughtful and introspective, too much attention paid to relationships and communication amongst the characters. Not enough action, killing and destruction. They dismiss me and my work as "Chick-Lit" which I really, really hate because I don't like movies geared to women, such as Beaches, Terms of Endearment or Fried Green Tomatoes. I love kick-ass action movies! But I want to see action movies with full-fleshed characters, rich with emotional turmoil and human weaknesses. Stuff like Batman, Spiderman -- even Iron Man. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?

For the most part, people who've read the first issue of The Black Tower, love it and email me asking to buy a print version, whenever I decide to get around to doing that. Then, occasionally, I get emails from people saying my work is touchy-feely drivel geared strictly to women -- or raunchy smut, like the last few pages were just something I threw in to appease my male readers.

Huh? You mean women don't like sex? We're too pure and delicate for that, are we?

Look, I like porn just as much as the next guy. I can fix my own car, take my own trash out to the curb, and chug a beer down the hatch just like one of the guys. So, don't peg-hole, categorize or dismiss me as an insignificant female comic book writer. I've got 50,000+ fans around the world (some of them Eisner and Emmy award winning writers) who think my work is equal to, if not better than, some of the stuff written by the world's best male comic book writers over the past 30 years!

KJC

Star Wars...Sorta

2009-01-16T10:32:00.003-08:00

Oh, God, I'm in pain! I laughed so hard, my stomach is aching and my eyes are burning from the tears.

You gotta check THIS out.

KJC (may the Farce be with you)

Always Late for Work? No Prob!

2009-01-08T09:26:00.006-08:00

That seems to be a growing trend in the younger work force today. Being late for work every day -- and fully expecting to be forgiven for it by bosses and co-workers.

Holy crap, are you kidding me?

After I read THIS STORY in the Ottawa Sun yesterday I emailed Cathie Edmond, manager of Algonquin College's Co-operative Education program, to ask for clarification on some quotes in the article. Specifically:

"Millennials" (people born between 1990 and 2000) are usually running late.

"Punctuality is not something that this generation worries a great deal about," she said.

She had an employer complain about one student, who was very smart and talented, but was showing up consistently five minutes late.

"I told him, 'You're not going to attract the young talent if you do that.' "

I just couldn't believe it when I read that, so, assuming it was a misquote, I contacted Cathie Edmond. She suggested that she may have been misquoted or taken out of context -- but then reiterated her stance on the issue: today's employers are expected to excuse their employees for being consistently late for work and, in fact, should adjust their schedules to allow for it (i.e. don't start meetings until the employee finally decides to show up, or make another employee stay later to cover the shift until the late worker finally saunters through the door). And if the employer has the unmitigated gall to insist that the employee respect his/her time and that of their co-workers, the slacker can just laugh them off because, apparently, there is such a shortage of highly qualified and well-educated workers that the employer would have no choice but to keep them on, despite their bad habits.

Really? Well, not if you worked for me, you lazy, selfish, inconsiderate asshole!

Look, I've been an employee, a minimum wage slave, for dozens of good bosses and a few really, really bad ones since I was a teenager, and unless I had car trouble, got caught in a traffic jam or had to stay and help police as the only witness to a car accident right in front of me, I was never late for work. In fact, I always tried to be at least 5 minutes early.

Now I'm in my 40s and that work ethic has stayed with me. I don't keep clients waiting, I don't keep potential new employers waiting, and I don't create a situation where co-workers are forced to pick up the slack on my behalf because I was too lazy to get my ass out of bed or off the couch in a timely manner. If I was personal assistant to the president of NBC or CTVglobemedia, do you think they'd mind if I was 5, 10, 15 minutes late for work every day? I'm thinking, yeah. Make that, "Hell, yeah!"

I'm also an employer with two personal assistants (well, three if you count Patricia, my convention assistant, who lives on the other side of the country). They know damn well they'd better not be late for work more than two days in any given week or I'd fire their ass. I don't put up with shit like that.

Am I being too rigid? Am I asking for too much? Should employers today forgive slacker employees for disrupting the work environment on a daily basis?

What do you think?

KJC

ADDENDUM:
It's now mid February, 2010, and since I wrote this post, it's gotten 30-40 hits per week. Mostly from frustrated employers who are trying to deal with chronically late workers, most of them Millennials. Sad. So very, very sad.

Bad First Dates

2009-01-06T15:47:00.004-08:00

I don't get out much, anymore. Too busy with work to bother trying to forge serious romantic relationships with men (Yeah, yeah, poor me. Whatever!). I do get together with some of my guy friends now and then, for dinner & drinks...maybe a show. No big deal.

Anyway, I was thinking earlier today, about my younger days, back when I was a night club dancer and lead singer of a pop/rock band, remembering some of the boys/men I knew and dated back then.

The first name that popped into my head was Gavin "Smith", born in England, kinda looked like a very young Hugh Grant. We'd known each other since high-school and socialized with a large, close-knit group of friends. We liked each other but one of us was always dating someone else, so it was a constant case of bad timing.

Finally, long after I'd graduated high-school, we decided to go out on our first real date. I was almost 20 by that time, Gavin was 17. After he and I had dinner at a really fancy restaurant, I took him to the night club where I worked to introduce him to all of my co-workers. Remember...he's 17. We weren't there 3 minutes when all of a sudden the police burst through the doors. At least 10 of 'em, all looking for underage drinkers. I tried to hide Gavin in bathrooms and broom closets, moving him around from place to place, as a rebel sympathizer would try to hide a resistance fighter during a Nazi raid. But, alas, they did eventually find him. Not only did he get a $50 fine for being in a night club -- even though he didn't have a drop of alcohol to drink, he also got a permanent police record. All because I wanted to show off my hot new boyfriend to my friends.

Thankfully, Gavin laughed it off and we remained friends for a couple of years afterward -- but not boyfriend/girlfriend, as I realized that night that he was just too young for me. I later heard through friends that he took up a life of crime. Shoplifting, break and enter, robbery, possession of stolen property...I think perhaps I may have set him on the wrong path, corrupted him, turned him into a criminal.

No wonder I'm still single. A man can get arrested just by standing next to me!

KJC

Nudity in Comic Books

2009-01-05T12:25:00.004-08:00

My artist friend, Jason Badower, made some very interesting observations in a recent blog post about nudity in comics. Specifically, controversy over the depiction of naked women.

There's nothing that irks me more than the ridiculously unrealistic portrayal of women in comics, with those large, gravity-defying, perfectly round orbs, and barbie doll thin waists. I don't come at this from a feminist stand-point. I'm thinking like an artist who strongly feels that works of art should have at least some grounding in reality. Otherwise, I can't relate to it. I can't relate to the character as a human being. It just becomes a fleshy, humanoid-looking...thing. An object.

When I was drawing/colouring the last few pages of the first issue of The Black Tower, I got really nervous about how those hotel room scenes might go down -- both with die-hard comics fans and the general public at large. I was expecting a huge backlash, scorn-filled emails from people who didn't want to see that kind of "filthy porn" in a webcomic that was other-wise very family friendly. Well, I'm very relieved to report that, out of the 12,000 + people who've read the premier issue, I got a total of 3 scathing emails, and 5 more from folks who said they were unprepared to see that kind of thing (drugs use and naked prostitutes) but nonetheless found the issue very entertaining. They'll continue reading future issues, so long as I put some sort of parental warning up on the website, so they can check it out before letting their kids see it. I did just that, and there have been no complaints since.

I'm very proud of my work, and especially proud of the realism I showed in all my depictions of various women found in The Black Tower webcomic.

KJC

You Know You've Really Made It When...

2008-12-31T21:54:00.002-08:00

...you're featured in COSTO magazine. Page 72 of the Jan/Feb 2009 edition of the Costco Connection. Since the magazine was delivered to thousands of homes across the country over the past few days, visits to The Black Tower website have shot up 700%.

How's that for a nice start to the new year?

KJC

A Really "Special" Holiday Special

2008-12-24T10:05:00.004-08:00

I watched the Star Wars Holiday Special when it first aired back in 1978. Keeping in mind that I was just 10 years old at the time -- and a mega-major Star Wars fan -- I liked it. George Lucas, however, did not, and he's been trying to destroy every copy he can get his hands on ever since.

Now, 30 years later, I have to say that I totally agree with him. It's really a huge embarrassment to everyone who was involved in making it, including stars Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford. Dudes...I feel your pain!

Click HERE to experience the hilarious agony for yourselves.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

BEST WISHES FOR 2009!

Issue #1 is Now Online!

2008-08-11T00:40:00.002-07:00

After eight months of pure hell, I'm thrilled -- not to mention extremely relieved -- to finally be able to announce that issue #1 of The Black Tower interactive graphic novel series is now online at:

www.theblacktowercomics.com

I'm exhausted. Physically, emotionally and financially spent. There were times, in recent weeks, when I was working 20 to 30 hours straight, without sleep and only a few cookies to fill my tummy, as I sat at my computer working on various aspects of the project, most notably the digital colouring of the pages. My artist/illustrator, Donald Jackson, coloured the people but I did everything else...backgrounds, textures, highlights, shading and other details. It nearly killed me!

I'm so glad it's over with. For now, anyway. I'll start working on a first draft of issue #2 next week and then, after getting my co-writer Jeff Mariotte's input on the final draft, it's off to the drawing board once again for me and Don.

Somebody, please...shoot me now. :-(

KJC

I'm Going to the Polaris 22 Convention

2008-06-10T11:19:00.006-07:00

Gang:

I've been invited to be a guest at the Polaris 22 sci-fi/fantasy convention, July 11th to 13th. Accompanying me to the event will be Stargate actor (and the model for the character of Kyle Raines in The Black Tower) Cliff Simon.

My schedule's going to be pretty tight, as I am expected to attend 6 to 12 panels on various sci-fi/fantasy/showbiz-related subjects, sign autographs and pose for pics, host a Main Stage Q&A panel about The Black Tower with Cliff, and mingle with fans at various parties and charity events the entire weekend, including Friday.

I'll also be selling some Black Tower merchandise, some of it signed by the folks involved with the project, such as my co-writer, Jeff Mariotte, my artist, Donald Jackson, my cover artist, Jason Badower, and character model, Cliff Simon. Since I have yet to forge an agreement with a major comic book publisher (still working on it), I'll be offering some limited series, self-published, full-colour editions of the premier issue of The Black Tower for sale, some signed, some not. There'll also be T-shirts, cover mock-ups and copies of Jason's original art for the project etc. for you to buy at varying price points. I'm also giving away free Black Tower bookmarkers, but if you donate some spare change to the two charities I'm representing at the con (David Suzuki Foundation, World Wildlife Fund) I'll sign the back of it as a thank you for your kind and generous support!

Please note, I'll sign anything you put in front of me at the con for free, but Cliff charges a (fair) $20 fee for his autograph, whether it's on Black Tower merchandise, Stargate...whatever.

I'll keep y'all updated as I learn more.

KJC

ADDENDUM - July 9, 2008
I tried. Oh, Lord, how I tried. After working 22 to 34 hours straight, sleeping for a few hours, and then getting up and spending another 22 to 34 hours working on the first issue of the comic, for the past two weeks, I finally have to admit that it's just not going to be ready for the convention two days from now. I still have the last two pages to colour (I'm also a colourist on this project) and then it has to be lettered (only the first 7 pages are lettered at this point). So, what I'm doing instead of offering full issues for sale at the Polaris 22 convention, signed by the creative talent involved, is handing out FREE 10-page previews of the premier issue, with a link to the website so you can read the rest of it when it finally debuts on July 22nd. So long as my letterer can keep up with me, that will definitely be the launch date. I'll sign these free hand-outs if you want me to. Cliff Simon will sign for $20.

Since I have yet to forge an agreement with a print publisher (my proposal is currently in the hands of Image Comics), I will offer self-published copies of the premier issue for sale on the official website (I'll be setting up a merchandising section), signed by myself, Jeff Mariotte and Donald Jackson, and maybe a few things signed by cover artist extraordinaire, Jason Badower, and actor Cliff Simon, as well.

The New IMPROVED Cover for Issue #1!

2008-05-31T16:00:00.007-07:00

I'm a perfectionist and a control freak, I admit that. And while I very much liked the cover that my artist, Donald Jackson, did for Issue #1 of The Black Tower, is wasn't...perfect.

Enter artistic genius, Jason Badower, most beloved of all the artists working on NBC's Heroes online graphic novel series (he really is the best out of everyone, trust me). Right out of the blue one day, he offered to do a cover for me, since he had some time to kill in between Heroes gigs, and without a moment's hesitation I asked if he wouldn't mind redoing the Issue #1 cover. Thankfully, he said "yes!"

Less than a week later, this is what my dear friend and artistic mentor delivered to me via email:

Gorgeous, isn't it? I cried when I first saw it. It's 100 times better than I'd imagined it could be -- and it looks fan-freakin-tastic in poster size (I had one printed up this morning). If you'd like to know step-by-step how Jason pulled this off, click HERE to read his fascinating blog entry about it.

So, below is Jason's artwork incorporated into what I expect will be the standard template for this and all future issues of The Black Tower, both online and in print.

Man, that is one sexy cover, eh?

Thanks a million, Jas!

Forty & Fabulous!

2008-03-26T21:04:00.002-07:00

When I was 19 years old I had a bitch of a time getting into nightclubs because I was 5 feet tall and looked about 16/17. Even after I showed the doorman my I.D. they assumed it was fake and wouldn’t let me inside to drink and party with my friends – some of whom were actually 17/18. Bastards!

Then later, in my early 20s, I was married to a man who was ten years my senior. He looked like he was in his 30s but I looked like a college-age kid. Needless to say, my husband got a lot of dirty looks from people when they’d see us walk by, hand-in-hand, at the mall or grocery store. Pervert! Cradle-robber!

I was just starting to hit my stride as a woman when my 30th birthday rolled around. I was becoming more confident, expanding my horizons and exploring my options after a depressing 12 year marriage and painful, financially devastating divorce. I started to eat better, exercise more and treat myself with more respect. My skin still looked amazing. Fresh, flawless and wrinkle-free. But I knew it wouldn’t stay that way forever so I really made a conscious effort to avoid things that would have a detrimental effect on my complexion (drinking, smoking, sunbathing etc.). This, ladies and gentlemen, is what a 40 year old non-smoking, non-drinking chick who stays out of the sun looks like.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

How "V" Changed My Life

2008-02-20T14:57:00.003-08:00

A few days ago I heard that "V" creator/writer/producer/director, Kenneth Johnson, was launching a new book based on the mega-hit mini-series from the early '80s, with plans for a new mini-series, based on the book, already in development.

I was a huge fan of "V" and was so happy to hear about the new book and TV project that I tracked him down yesterday and emailed him this letter:

Ken:

I don’t often write fan letters, but after hearing about the recent resurrection of “V” as a new novel and potential TV mini series, I felt compelled to introduce myself and thank you for everything you’ve done in the past which helped get me to this point in my own career in the industry.

I’m a huge fan of your work, starting with the Six Million Dollar Man, Bionic Woman, Incredible Hulk and Cliffhangers: Curse of Dracula. These shows sparked what would eventually become a life-long passion for the sci-fi/fantasy/horror genre. I had a major crush on Dracula star Michael Nouri and, at age 11, founded a fan club devoted to him and the show. We called ourselves the “Brides of Dracula” and used red magic markers to dot little bite marks on our necks. Needless to say, our parents and teachers were not the slightest bit amused. (LOL!)

Then, in the 80s, “V” came along and totally rocked my world. It changed me. No longer satisfied with simply sitting down with snacks and a drink and watching my favorite shows during prime-time, I became more involved in dissecting the characters, themes and stories from a writer’s perspective. Up to that point, I had dabbled in Star Wars & Star Trek fan-fic and it was pretty good, considering it was written by a 13/14 year old. But I decided to try something different with “V”. Are you familiar with those old Choose Your Own Adventure stories for kids? Well, I wrote one for “V” when I was 16, with the reader/protagonist having to make some hard choices about their role in the war between the Visitors and the Human race. I drew the illustrations, designed the cover, typed out every single page of the 200+ page fan-fic story which, of course, was never shown to anyone but friends and family. But, nonetheless, it sparked my interest in writing TV tie-in/promotional material and television scripts.

I’m now a screenwriter, television producer and comic book writer, with one project in the works, called The Black Tower. It’s a comic book series about a wealthy teenage girl who discovers she’s half-god/half-demon/vampire (think high-school age Ivanka Trump living a secret life as Selene the vampire warrior from Underworld). This interactive webcomic will also feature actors as live versions of the comic book characters, acting out dramatic scenes in various YouTube/MySpacetv videos, and some of the people involved with the project are the same folks who work/worked on X-Files, Star Trek, Buffy, Angel, Stargate, Supernatural, Blade, Charmed, Smallville, Battlestar Galactica, Heroes and Lost.

I just wanted to thank you, Ken, for creating/writing/directing some of the best shows ever produced for television. You got me hooked and sparked an interest which eventually evolved into a successful career in the entertainment industry.

He just emailed me back with a very lovely and heart-felt thanks. A very sweet man! Next time I'm down in L.A. I might just take him out for lunch.

If you like reading sci-fi novels, go buy Ken's book, OK?

KJC

Close Encounters of the Tasty Kind

2008-02-14T22:24:00.008-08:00

I just had a Roy Neary moment while eating a piece of cheesecake.

I think "they" are trying to communicate to me through frozen desserts. Don't laugh. Roy was right when he started playing with his mashed potatoes. Maybe it's time for me to head out on a road trip to Wyoming, eh?

KJC

Isn't She Adorable?

2008-02-06T09:33:00.000-08:00

I finally caught one of my little darlings doing something worthy of I-Can-Has-Cheezburger.

My personal toilet paper dispenser.

Isn't she adorable!? :-(

Better Sleep With One Eye Open

2008-01-31T21:03:00.001-08:00

An Interesting Dilemma

2008-01-02T09:55:00.001-08:00

I watched an old movie on TV over the Holidays. Strange Days, starring Ralph Fiennes. I've had the hots for Ralph since 1993's The Cormorant, about a man's twisted obsession over a bird. I thought he was drop dead gorgeous back then -- those laser-beam blue eyes! -- and he only seems to have gotten better looking with age.

I mingle with a lot of celebrities, date actors, writers, producers and musicians occasionally, and have had to beat a few of them off with a stick when they get too "familiar" with my personal space, if y'know what I mean. Some are complete dick-heads that I just want to shoot in the head and bury in a shallow grave, while others are just the sweetest, most sensitive and intellectually stimulating people I've ever known. Ralph Fiennes is in the latter category.

So, anyway, after watching Strange Days I did a little poking around on the Net to find out what Ralph's been up to since his stint as Voldemort in the Harry Potter movies, and up popped a near one-year old story about a very brief fling he had with an airline stewardess while flying at 30,000 feet, and later that night, again, in his hotel room in Mumbai. The scandal came and went in a matter of weeks last winter, but if you read the details of her side of the story you start to get a picture of a woman in a terrible mental state, spiritually, morally and financially bankrupt. She wasn't dealing with a full deck before she and Ralph did the quick and nasty in the jet's lavatory, and afterward, when the scandal broke and she lost her job, things got much, much worse for her.

It got me thinking about relationships, that spark of attraction and sexual tension that a man and woman feel when they first meet and get to know each other. It can be intoxicating, exciting...from what I remember back in my late teens, anyway. I'm a practicing celibate, so I don't engage in that social ritual of man-meets-woman/man-fucks-woman's-brains-out-at-every-possible-opportunity. That's not to say I don't feel that sexual attraction when I meet someone new and really take a shine to them. It's just that, unlike Lisa Robertson, I don't throw caution (and good sense) to the wind, pull them into a dark alley, rip their clothes off and fuck them until they can no longer stand upright. With me, it stops at dinner and a show, topped off with a good-night kiss.

But what if you were Lisa Robertson? What if you were there on that plane with an absolutely ravishing, intellectually stimulating and hilariously funny man, a passenger, who made it quite clear with his words and actions that he was really enjoying your company -- and was hoping to get to know you better, preferably while the two of you were naked? Would you risk it all...your job, your financial stability, your home and car, would you be willing to ruin your reputation and put yourself up to humiliation and ridicule on an international scale just to have a 20 hour sex romp with this man?

I wouldn't. Not a chance in Hell. I adore Ralph and, from time to time, fantasize about he and I doing it in the coat check room at a Vanity Fair after party, or in the boiler room in the basement of a hotel in Monte Carlo -- BUT there is not a man on this Earth that is worth that kind of risk. I have a great career, decent apartment and car, I have dignity, self-respect and a strong spiritual centre -- and I'll be damned if I'm going to throw that all away just so I can enjoy multiple orgasms resulting from having a 9 inch dick shoved inside me.

KJC

Those Omega-3s Are Really Kicking In

2007-11-27T08:24:00.000-08:00

As some of you are aware from reading previous posts, I have memory and concentration problems. It's not unlikely for me to forget the names of people I've known for years, or forget something they've just told me less than a minute later. If I don't enter information into my PDA (or write it on my arm) the moment I think of it, five seconds later...poof!...it's gone. I also have a nervous disposition and equate myself to a chihuahua (feisty, vicious, yappy, freaks out at the sound of loud noises).

Recent health issues have forced me to go on a mega-vitamin binge to combat these nagging problems, most of them related to being a fat, middle-aged woman (yes, I'm a smokin' hot babe...but I'm also the size & weight of a newborn beluga whale). So, I've been taking daily doses of multi-vitamins, plus extra doses vitamins C & E, iron & calcium suppliments, aloe, echinacea and Omega 3.

And you know what? I'm really starting to notice a difference. Not just in how I look, with smoother, healthier-looking skin, stronger nails and silky hair, but also in how my brain is functioning. I surprised the hell out of myself this morning when I glanced at an advertisment poster on the way to work and then, three hours later, recalled the company's rather lengthy website address. Three hours later? For me, that's fucking amazing!

And despite the added stress of having to develop and put out a very expensive comic book series (yes, things are still on track), I've been waking up every morning, lately, feeling even tempered, sharp as a tack and ready to get cracking. Usually, it takes three cups of coffee -- with 5 tablespoons of sugar, each -- for me to shake off that morning fog.

excerpt from the Omega 3 wiki page:
ω−3 has shown to aid in other mental disorders such as
aggression and ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder).

I can vouch for that!

KJC

Mayor Abducted by Satanists

2007-11-26T10:42:00.000-08:00

Well, now, HERE's a story you don't read about every day.

KJC

Jack Bauer Saves the World -- with AOL 3.0

2007-11-14T11:08:00.000-08:00

It's hard to believe that we once had to live our lives with THIS kind of technology available. Ugh!

KJC (who cries like a baby when her Internet connection goes down)

My Soundtrack

2007-11-12T10:56:00.001-08:00

In his blog, Jim Henshaw talks about the music that gives him story ideas, inspiration or the motivation to write. He had some great examples, some of it country music, which I love.

I have problems focusing and concentrating on the task at hand, be it ironing a blouse, preparing budget reports or writing a script (I think I have ADHD), so I have to be very careful when I have music playing in the BG while I'm doing something important. My mind wanders. I start to sing...dance. Next thing you know, I've completely forgotten about what it is I was supposed to be working on and have now started four other projects -- all of which will probably remain unfinished for days...weeks, even.

For example, over this past weekend I was supposed to be working on finishing up the first draft of the first script for The Black Tower comic book series. I have a deadline. There are other people counting on me to get this puppy wrapped up so they can contribute their talents to the project before the deadline hits. But I made the mistake of listening to this totally kick-ass song from a new band I recently discovered. I listened to it over and over again for about an hour, singing along (I'm a professional vocalist, so damn if I didn't sound totally awesome in my backup performance) instead of writing. Then, that got me thinking about another song I like from a different band in the goth-rock genre, so I watched the music video, which then got me thinking about other songs in their repertoire that I might want to acquire for The Black Tower TV series. Next thing you know, I'm shopping at the iTunes Store, downloading about 20-25 songs from various artists over the next five or six hours. Meanwhile, that script draft stays untouched on my desktop taskbar at the bottom of my screen. It's now two days later and I haven't written a single word.

Suffice it to say, I have to be very selective about the music I have playing while I work, so I mainly listen to classical (no words to sing along to, that helps!) and Loreena McKennitt, whose music has provided spiritual enlightenment and inspiration for my work as a sci-fi/fantasy writer ever since I first discovered her back in 1989.

KJC (who spent over an hour writing this post because, once again, she got distracted)

Ellen Dubin on Blood Ties

2007-10-24T08:23:00.002-07:00

My dear friend, Ellen Dubin, guest starred on an episode of Blood Ties, which just premiered on Lifetime a few days ago. The writer of the books, upon which the fantasy TV series is based, Tanya Huff, has posted her review of Ellen's episode, entitled "Wild Blood".

HERE's what she had to say. ** SPOILERS! **

EW's 11 Great Hollywood Vampires

2007-10-19T09:55:00.000-07:00

Interesting list. I would've added Chris Sarandon as Jerry Dandrige in Fright Night, and Michael Nouri as Dracula in the Curse of Dracula TV series but, otherwise, I think they got it right.

KJC (who will be playing a vampire on her own TV show someday)

Remembering Jon-Erik

2007-10-12T13:56:00.000-07:00

Twenty-three years ago today I suffered a devastating loss when actor Jon-Erik Hexum accidentally shot himself in the head with a prop gun while on the set of his TV series Cover Up. After failing to recover from the brain trauma, he was declared dead six days later, his organs donated to those in need.

That was a really rough week for me. I was 16, studying to become an actress, and had been following Jon-Erik's career since his starring role on Voyagers!, one of my favourite shows, back in 1982. I took his death very hard, because I sorta knew Jon-Erik. While he was working on Voyagers! I wrote him a fan letter, just gushing about him and the show. He wrote me back a few weeks later and included some personal photos of himself on the set. Not publicity shots but candid pics of him and his co-star Meeno Peluce goofing around on set. I wrote him back to thank him, and told him I was studying to become an actress, and he wrote me back again, gave some career advice and even more photos of himself and Meeno (I think I may still have an autograhed picture of him somewhere. I should try to find it.). Anyway, as the months passed and Voyagers! wrapped production, Jon-Erik and I continued to write to each other, right up to the month he passed away.

I found out about the accident on Entertainment Tonight and was absolutely sick with worry, praying that he'd recover. The day his parents pulled the plug I went into a deep, near suicidal depression. Jon-Erik Hexum was the kindest, most thoughtful and giving actor I had ever encountered up to that point. I'd hoped that he and I would work together -- or at the very least, meet -- someday. So genuine, caring and compassionate, he revealed many private things to me in his writings, and I will never forget how much he trusted me, a 16 year old nobody from Canada, with his secrets. I still think about Jon-Erik from time to time, and wonder what he'd be doing now, if that prop gun hadn't blown a hole in his temple.

The world lost someone special when he died. :-(

KJC

Fun With Faces

2007-09-01T09:22:00.000-07:00

On her blog, Diane linked to a website (the University of St. Andrews computer science department) where you can upload a picture of yourself and, after following a few steps, watch it be transformed into various other ethnic, animal, cartoon and artistic faces.

Here's me:

as an Alfon Mucha painting

(oooh, pretty!)

as a manga character

(I am Illuminesa, Defender of the Universe!)

as a man

(I could've been a member of Duran Duran -- or The Cult)

as an East Indian woman

as an Asian woman

as an Afro-Caribbean woman

as a baby

(I kinda look like Tammy Faye Baker)

We Need to Talk

2007-08-28T08:01:00.000-07:00

So, my doctor calls me over to her office yesterday -- which is, conveniently, just across the road from my home -- and after she sits me down, she glances at the test results from the annual physical I had last week.

"Your iron count is 9," she says.

I ponder this for a moment, then say: "Well, 9 outta 10 aint bad."

"Not 10," she says, frowning. "It should be 96."

"Oh."

So, now I know why I've been feeling like crap over the past year. Unbelievably tired, like I'm constantly treading through quicksand. I could be typing on the computer one minute, then suddenly drop my head down on the desk and fall asleep -- sometimes for 2 to 3 hours. It also explains why I've been having fainting spells, breathing problems and bizarre cravings for paper, white glue, baby powder and crayon wax.

KJC (who really needs to go take a nap right now)

The Pros & Cons of Cons

2007-08-21T07:55:00.000-07:00

I love sci-fi/fantasy conventions. I don't get to attend as many as I'd like to but at least, with the Internet, I'm able to read about the adventures my friends and colleagues had at various cons this year.

Heroes online graphic novel artist, Jason Badower, talks about his turn as a guest (in between drinking binges) at SDComicCon 2007 HERE. Stargate: Atlantis writer/producer, Joe Mallozzi, shares his experience at Anime Evolution 2007 HERE and Timeless Destinations 2007 HERE. Actor/writer, Wil Wheaton, and a few of his readers, discuss their sometimes not-so-pleasant experiences at various cons over the years HERE, and while I join Wil and friends in criticizing how Creation Entertainment does business with fans and guests, I did get the warm and fuzzies watching THIS 50 min taping of Joss Whedon on stage talking with fans at SDComicCon 2007. You can definitely feel the love!

I've also been asked to appear as a guest at a few cons over the years, to promote various projects, and I have a rule that I make very clear to con promoters before I sign up. No barriers! I don't even want a table separating me from the fans. Take all the pictures you want, I'll sign anything -- no charge (unless you want to donate a buck or two to charity). These conventions are supposed to be about sharing in a love & passion for something (TV show, comics, video games etc.). A big party to celebrate and laugh and make new friends. We all absolutely must give back to the fans, to thank them for their continuing support of our work. Because, without them, those of us who work in show business would have no careers.

Respect!

KJC

Top 10 TV-to-Movie Adaptations

2007-08-18T12:46:00.000-07:00

The IGN website has a very interesting Top 10 List of movies that have been adapted to TV shows. The list includes some of my favourites such as Buffy, Indiana Jones and Stargate.

KJC

A New Addition to the Family

2007-07-31T21:13:00.001-07:00

For the past 10 years or so I've been feeding and caring for some feral cats that live in the rocky hills and bushes behind the building where I work. About 8 or 9 of them, I guess. All different breeds and ages, as some have been born, died or moved on to greener pastures. But tonight, I just felt the time was right to finally take one home and give it the safe, secure, love-filled life it deserves. They all deserve it, but some of them are really fierce and would kill my two bunnies on sight, so I chose an itty-bitty Calico kitten, about 6-8 weeks old.

She's only been in my home for about an hour, now, so she's still terrified. So many new sights, sounds and smells. She's never been this close to a human before and my two cats, Aries and Gillian, aren't really doing much to make her feel welcome, either. The next couple of weeks are going to be pretty rough as I litter train her, get her used to the other animals and explain/demonstrate the rules of the house (i.e. no scratching the furniture, no chewing on the plants, no coughing up hairballs into my sneakers).

I've been rescuing animals from unfortunate circumstances all of my life, but I stopped taking them into my home when I got Aries and Gillian back 1995. I really hope we can all make this adjustment because I'm sure as hell not going to dump her back into the bushes at the end of the month, or drop her off at the shelter where she very well could be euthanized come Labour Day. I would never forgive myself, if that happened.

KJC

Gimme Some Lovin'!

2007-07-26T20:07:00.000-07:00

Well, now, there's something you don't see every day.

I was walking through the parking lot to my car tonight, around 11pm, when I heard a slight rustling in the bushes. As I moved in to investigate, a skunk emerged and headed straight for me, soon followed by a second, much larger, skunk.

Oh, shit, I thought. Should I run?

But my fears were immediately laid to rest as the two skunks, obviously male and female, proceeded to do this cute little dance & prance around me. They really didn't seem to give a crap that I was standing right there, barely 5 feet between us...and then it dawned on me why as the male mounted the female and started...well...you know.

I was going to stay and watch (because I like to watch) but, in their moment of passion, they sprayed just a teeny tiny bit, and in this heat wave it didn't take long for the stench to overwhelm me.

Cutest little things, though!

Zoom, Zoom, Baby!

2007-07-24T08:21:00.000-07:00

What sports car are you? Take the test. I did, and was not at all surprised to discover that I am a Lamborghini Murcielago. They even got the colour right. I look fantastic in black & yellow!

When Good TV Shows Go Bad

2007-07-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

Lisa Klink made an excellent post on her blog, recently, about the things that can go wrong to turn a promising series into a complete disaster in no time, flat. While there are literally hundreds of examples of this, I kept thinking about Birds of Prey, a great concept that faltered under the direction of an inexperienced showrunner and writing staff. I liked the show but its flaws were evident in every episode. I wanted it to do better, to BE better, but as time went on, I could see the cracks in the foundation getting bigger and bigger.

I've kept this example in the back of my mind as I continue development on The Black Tower. I'm inching closer and closer towards signing a major deal that will launch this multi-million dollar empire, starting with comics. And knowing how things can go so horribly wrong so quickly under poor management, I've taken on...I guess you could call them partners or collaborators. Folks who really know what the hell they're doing -- and have the awards on their mantle to prove it.

I don't want The Black Tower to die a humiliating death after airing just 3 episodes. It deserves better than that.

KJC

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12

2007-07-17T07:33:00.000-07:00

Burglary in progress. Suspect was last seen headed north on Courtwood...

I had an interesting little adventure last night. I was in the hallway, on the 2nd floor of the 3 storey office building I work in, when I noticed a neighbour's door all bashed up, like someone has been hacking and slashing at it with a crow bar, trying to jimmy the dead bolt. And while I was standing there, examining the damage, someone bolted right past me and got on the elevator. I was pretty sure that I had just interrupted a burglary in progress but I didn't get a good enough look at the dude in order to give a proper description to the Ottawa police. So, I ran down the stairwell as fast as I could so I could be standing right in front of him when the elevator doors opened in the lobby.

When the doors opened, he glanced at me briefly (I think he knew he'd been caught in the act but was trying to act nonchalant) and I gave him a good long look as he walked out the front door. Oooh, this boy was so fine! If he hadn't been a professional criminal (and an inept one at that, to break in while there are still 3 people in the building, in broad daylight [8pm], with security cameras inside and out) I would totally date him.

He looked like actor Cillian Murphy, but with spikey blonde hair.

Babalicious, no?

Anyway, I called the police, the owner of the building and the manager of the business that was broken into, and spent the next THREE hours, making a full statement, getting security camera footage, assisting the CSI guy as he dusted for fingerprints, took pictures and collected DNA evidence (the would-be thief used his gym socks to wipe the blood off his hands, then threw them on the floor...like I said, inept). Then I had to clean up the mess the burglar and the CSI guy made.

Home in bed at 4 this morning, up at 7 again for work. Christ, I'm tired!

KJC

A Great Way to Preview a Comic

2007-06-30T07:39:00.000-07:00

With voices and special effects for dramatic flare, I can definitely see THIS as a potential marketing tool for The Black Tower comics (which are still in development).

KJC

The ReBirth & ReSpect of Sci-Fi/Fantasy

2007-06-27T08:29:00.000-07:00

Here's a snippet from a great article from The Guardian about how sci-fi/fantasy shows have experienced a rebirth and a new respect from the general viewing audience thanks, in part, to Buffy, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, Lost, and Heroes.

Among new dramas debuting later this year in America are a remake of The Bionic Woman; Journeyman, which has a man travelling in time to right wrongs; Pushing Daisies, about a detective who can bring people back to life; Babylon Fields, which is about zombies rising in contemporary America; Moonlight, about a detective who is also a vampire; True Blood, another vampire drama from Six Feet Under creator Alan Ball; and The Sarah Connor Chronicles, based on the Terminator movies. Of 45 pilots picked up for series by US networks for next season, around a quarter are straightforward science fiction or fantasy, or influenced by them. The fantastic future is here.

HERE's the link to the article. Enjoy!

KJC

The Great Comic Divide

2007-06-25T10:03:00.000-07:00

I'm very ambivalent about THIS article in Salon Magazine, discussing Douglas Wolk's "Comics: How Graphic Novels Work and What They Mean". I sorta agree with most of the statements made -- and, yet, I also feel somewhat insulted.

I've been a long-time casual reader of comics (the gory pulp horror and superhero stuff, right on up to the more "intelligent" cutting edge offerings such as Sin City, Sandman etc.). I own perhaps six or seven issues of various comics, collectors editions, and the rest were read and trashed/handed over to others to enjoy. I don't hold them in high esteem (i.e. keep them sealed forever in plastic bags) but I do respect the genre and the writers/artists who have made this their life's work. I do recognize that there is a divide between lovers of the auteurist art comics and the more mainstream stuff, like Spiderman, X-Men United and Witchblade -- and I really wish there wasn't.

Why can't we all just...get along?

KJC

A Very Lovely Rejection

2007-06-21T10:10:00.002-07:00

As y'all know, I've been madly pitching my TV series idea to various prodcos across North America over the past two and a half years. I'd say that 70% percent of the studio execs I've tried to pitch to have ignored my phone calls and emails althogether, treating me as though I were a credit card telemarketer (fuckers!), and another 28% have either dispatched a very brief but polite "Not for us, thanks. Good luck." rejection letter or email.

But today, I got a wonderful phone call from Jesse Ikeman at Blueprint Entertainment in Toronto. He read the entire online proposal (can you believe that?) and absolutely loved the depth and quality of my presentation. You could hear the excitement in his voice. I was very humbled and very flattered by his praise -- no, no, he rejected my pitch (sucks, huh?) BUT he was very, very nice about it, and spent several moments explaining to me why it wasn't right for Blueprint at this time. He also strongly encouraged me to submit any new TV series pitch ideas I might come up with in the months ahead directly to him. What a sweetie -- a real class act!

KJC

I'm an Adult Now

2007-06-15T10:14:00.001-07:00

If I don't feel like making my bed in the morning (or ever), I don't have to.

If I don't feel like brushing my hair or my teeth, I aint gonna.

If I don't want to flush after I go potty (at home), I don't have to.

If I want to have chocolate cake for breakfast, I'm gonna do it.

If I feel like indulging in a lovely alcoholic beverage (or two or three) before noon, I'll do it.

If I want to eat dessert before supper, hah! Just try and stop me.

If I see a totally awesome pair of $800 shoes in a colour I don't already have, goddammit, I'm gonna buy 'em.

If I see a stray cat in an alley, cold and starving, you can bet I'm going to take it home.

If I suddenly feel the urge to have "666" tattooed inside a pentagram on my shoulder blade, Hell yeah, I'll do it.

If I want to foster/adopt a wild animal that was horribly abused in a circus act, I will, no matter the cost.

And if I feel like it, I will stay out 'til 4 in the morning, partying at a gay nightclub in Vancouver, picking wildflowers from a roadside ditch in Calgary, having a cup of coffee with some "off-duty" streetwalkers in downtown Toronto, or driving to New York City to get ice cream.

Why? Because I'm an adult, now. A blissfully single adult. I don't need to ask anyone's permission to do anything, I don't have to apologize for something I did or didn't do (as long as it doesn't hurt someone else), and I most certainly don't have to make excuses or provide reasonable explanations to anyone for my behaviour.

It's fucking great to be me!

KJC

My 'Sci-Fi Talk' Interview

2007-06-04T21:23:00.002-07:00

Last week, Tony Tellado, webmaster of SCI-FI TALK, and I sat down to chat about my TV series in development, called The Black Tower. Considering that Tony has interviewed the writers, producers and celebrity casts of such movies as Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Tomb Raider, and TV shows like Stargate, Mutant X, Battlestar Galactica, Andromeda, Blood Ties and Painkiller Jane, naturally I was very surprised -- not to mention thrilled -- that he asked for a few moments of my time to discuss the project.

The interview takes about 3 to 4 minutes to download, and runs about 32 minutes long. HERE's a direct link to the podcast, but if you're a little pressed for time, below is a fairly brief run-down of our conversation.

01:15 (one minute & 15 seconds into the interview)
I explain how Canadian shows are usually produced as 13 episodes per season instead of the usual 21 to 24 produced in the States, mostly to save money. The Black Tower runs 13 episodes per season over four seasons, including a 2-hour series finale.

02:15
Tony and I discuss the exhaustive research done for the series.

02:35
Tony and I talk about how the idea for the series evolved from a Gargoyles fan-fic story.

04:45
We discuss the fan-fic phenomenon (i.e. Harry Potter, Star Wars, Star Trek). More on that here.

06:35
Tony and I talk about what a TV series pitch meeting is like, and how hard it is to sell a complex project such as The Black Tower because it also involves video games, adult novels, a comic book series, a fan club/charitable aid organization and Internet-only talk show.

07:25
We discuss the feedback I've been getting from these pitch meetings, and how much guidance and support I've received from a few top notch showrunners.

DETAILS:
Over the past two and a half years, I’ve pitched the project to about 25-30 production companies across North America and I’ve had some very nice, very encouraging conversations with some pretty big series showrunners, offering their advice and opinions on how to get the show sold and on the air. Folks like Fireworks founder Jay Firestone, Stargate writer/producers Michael Greenberg and Joseph Mallozzi, and The Collector writer/producer Jon Cooksey. Jon’s been an absolute angel to me, and helped me refine my pitch to appeal to the more cost-conscious Canadian producers and networks.

Several actors have expressed an interest in coming onboard the project if and when it finally does go into production (no one officially attached, nothing signed). Cliff Simon (Stargate: SG1), Ellen Dubin (The Collector, Mutant X, Dead Zone), Daniella Evangelista (The Collector, Stargate: SG1, The 4400), Tyrone Benskin (Charlie Jade, Frank Miller’s ‘300’), Elias Toufexis (Smallville, Supernatural) and Peter J. Lucas (Alias, ER, Crossing Jordan) have all expressed a strong desire to star in lead/supporting roles on the show.

Music will play a very important role on The Black Tower, and I've made a huge effort to establish relationships with various recording artists from across North America, most of whom are willing to provide existing songs (rights pending) for the show, and make the occasional appearance as a musical guest star. Famed Canadian World Fusion/Rock star, Jeff Martin (former lead singer of the internationally successful band The Tea Party), has offered his talents in writing/performing The Black Tower’s opening/closing credits theme music, and is willing to lend a few already existing songs in his repertoire to the show’s soundtrack (rights pending). Other musical talent: Samantha Newark, Matt Dusk and Klayton Scott. Also, very pleased to have established a friendship with Gerard McMann, who wrote and performed ‘Cry Little Sister’ for The Lost Boys movie. I emailed him one day last year and told him how much I loved that song, and how I would often listen to it while writing my Lost Boys fan-fic. I told him about the TV series I had in development and he very kindly said I could use 'Cry Little Sister' on The Black Tower anytime I want – but I have to pay him for the rights, of course.

12:10
Tony and I discuss the possible launch of a Black Tower comic book series.

DETAILS:
The Black Tower was designed to have a strong online presence, so I have enlisted graphic artist Jason Badower to help create the online comic book companion series (nothing signed, just an agreement between friends). Jason is the most popular artist in rotation for NBC’s Heroes online graphic novel series. I hope to launch a prequel trilogy comic book series to introduce the main characters, provide some background info on them, and establish the world these people live in. I'd like to have this already circulating on the Net (and maybe in hard copy) before the pilot episode airs.

13:56
Tony and I discuss Damian Kindler’s online-only sci-fi/fantasy series, Sanctuary, and comment on the writing, production values and the cast, including the talented Amanda Tapping and equally talented (but also very strange) David Hewlett.

20:22
Tony and I talk about how I got my start in the entertainment industry as the lead singer of an ’80s cover band, and how that evolved into a career as a voice-over artist for radio & television.

22:00
Tony and I talk about the good and the bad of MySpace, making friends and networking, avoiding freaks, porn addicts and celebrity impersonators.

25:35
We talk about the fun and promotional advantages of having a blog.

27:45
Tony and I discuss how similar in scope and detail my Black Tower website is to that of Underworld, how I've used it as a tool to pitch the series and generate a fan base while it’s still only in development.

28:45
We talk about the Star Wars movies and how George Lucas changed my life.

Pablum TV

2007-06-01T09:09:00.000-07:00

Joe Mallozzi voices his thoughts about the recent trend in animated shows for kids.

As someone who worked in the field for many years, I am all too aware of the saccharinization of animation. Remember the good old days when shotguns, cannons and dynamite were both deadly AND hilarious? When plummeting off a cliff resulted in little more than a bruised ego and an accordion body? When electrocution was an acceptable means of getting back at someone? Geez, when did we get so uptight as a society? Somewhere between the 1966 finale of The Flintstones and the 1981 premiere of The Smurfs, television animation lost its soul. Yogi Bear is a perfect example. The original was an arrogant glutton who spent the greater part of his day stealing from unwary picnickers. Fifteen years later, he’s riding around on a magic ark with his buddies “searching for a paradise to call home, a place without pollution or crime” (Wikipedia). I mean, what the fuck?

I was raised on the old animated shows of the 1940s, '50s & '60s, which were, without a doubt, violent, racist, anti-Communist, pro-war and homophobic. I was very disappointed when the next generation of shows came along in the 1970s and '80s. Care Bears, Smurfs, Muppet Babies...thankfully we still had the edgier stuff like Transformers and X-Men, and more recently, Gargoyles, Reboot and Spawn. But the trend is still leaning toward "Let's all join hands and sing kumbaya!". It's like the networks and studio executives are trying sooo hard to cover their asses, so as not to be held responsible (and sued) for some wacko kid who attempts a stunt he/she saw a cartoon character do. You know, when I was a kid, I used to pretend I was Wendy (from Peter Pan) and jumped off a second storey roof once.

Once.

It's absolutely ridiculous to blame cartoons when what it really boils down to is the parent's inability or unwillingness to teach their child about the difference between fantasy and reality. If you set that foundation early enough in a child's development, by the time they hit 8, 9, 10 they can totally differentiate between what is real and what is pure fantasy entertainment -- and it's the parents who should be held responsible for any bonehead stunts their kids pull, like pointing a loaded gun at their best friend, putting a kitten in the microwave or setting fire to their bed.

KJC

Heroes With Vaginas

2007-05-31T10:53:00.000-07:00

Hard to shake that visual, huh? But THIS article makes some pretty good points about Female-Hero led action movies and why they just don't make the same kind of money -- or get the same respect from movie-goers, critics and industry people -- as the Male Lead movies i.e. Terminator and Die Hard.

The issue is the writing, says David Eick, a writer-executive producer on "Battlestar Galactica" and also a showrunner on "Bionic Woman." Feature film screenwriters tend to allow gender to cloud character and plot development, he says, whereas TV avoids that trap.

I agree. Female TV action heroes or leads in action-based dramas (i.e. Battlestar, Veronica Mars, Stargate, and Buffy) get far more respect. They're just better written.

"The best female action stories in my opinion are the ones in which the role isn't written for a girl, it's written for a hero," says Eick, adding that heroes shouldn't be written any different whether male or female. "In the television medium, the best female action characters are written as heroes first, and female second."

This quote from David reminds me of the character of Ripley, played to perfection by Sigourney Weaver. The script for 1979's Alien was written with Ripley as a male character. She auditioned for and got the role (how they even let her read for the part, I have no idea) -- yet Ripley's lines remained virtually unchanged, despite the gender switch. And it worked! Really well, in fact.

I had high hopes for Joss Whedon's take on Wonder Woman. What a shame that he was unceremoniously dumped from the project. While I do not worship and idolize the man, as millions of others around the world seem to, I do appreciate the great effort he makes to create strong, multi-layered female leads -- and maintain the integrity of those characters throughout a show's run (well, season six was a little disappointing). He really is a master at that, and I consciously followed his example when I created AZULEN and DREANNA, the two female leads in The Black Tower. I mean, you can't get much stronger and more heroic than having one character that is, basically, the ruler of the entire planet. The god of all gods, as it were, and another that is a kick-ass half-demon Hell-bent on making the world a better place to live.

KJC

The 10 People You Meet for Dinner

2007-05-23T10:39:00.000-07:00

If I could invite any ten people, living or dead (but not fictional characters i.e. Homer Simpson, Lara Croft, Tony Soprano), to a dinner party, here’s who’d be on my guest list:

Imhotep
Pyramid architect, physician, poet and philosopher who was the first to coin the phrase “Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we shall die.”. He better not say that at my dinner party, though. It might cause a panic.

Cleopatra
The last supreme ruler of Egypt, Cleo was a master strategist and used every means at her disposal to preserve Egypt and its people. Too bad about that asp, though.

Leonardo da Vinci
Scientist, architect, inventor, painter, sculptor, musician, Leo really knew how to make excellent use of his time and skills. I want him at my party so I can ask him about the whole “Last Supper/ Mary Magdalene” controversy. It really is her on Jesus’ right, isn’t it, Leo? Come on, you can tell me.

Cesare Borgia
Wealthy, ambitious, well connected (his dad was a Pope), ruthless to his enemies and a highly skilled/prolific lover (if you believe the rumours), Chez is just the kind of guy I want to break bread with. We can compare strategies for world domination.

Catherine the Great
This chick may have had her flaws and weaknesses (uh, how many lovers did she have?), but she was a class act when it came to bringing Russia out of its Middle Age mind-set after her pathetic excuse for a husband abandoned the throne (okay, so, technically he was forced out – but he really didn’t want to be Emperor anyway).

Howard Hughes
Great looks, education, money, ambition. At the height of his career and manhood Howard had it all. It’s a shame how he lost it all – including his once sharp-as-a-tack mind.

Tenzin Gyatso
The Dalai Lama exudes an almost mystical sense of warmth and well-being. He’s so insightful, laid back and good natured, who wouldn’t want to sit across from him at the dinner table.

Criss Angel
Criss is the total package (and I haven’t stopped trying to arrange our first “accidental” meeting, the one where he falls instantly and madly in love with me). Renowned master illusionist, escape artist and talented musician, this Gothic God collaborated with Klayton Scott (who will be providing some music for my TV show) to sing/produce most of the music used in his Vegas shows and the Mind Freak TV series.

Angelina Jolie
Angie grew up in a broken home, with a father who betrayed her mother and abandoned her as a child (been there, done that). She turned herself around after a troubling youth (been there, done that) to become one of the most celebrated & controversial (not to mention unspeakably gorgeous) women of our age, devoting her time, energy and substantial income to making the world a better place, and easing the suffering of children. I am SO down with that, Angie. We have lots to talk about, you and I (I’m also hoping I can get you drunk enough to agree to a threesome with me and Criss).

Jack the Ripper
Just to make things really interesting (he can carve the roast).

The Grindhouse Poster Treatment

2007-05-07T10:56:00.000-07:00

Click HERE to see some really creative results, as folks give regular commercial movies, such as E.T., Harry Potter, and Casablanca the "grindhouse poster" treatment.

KJC

The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of

2007-05-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

The line-up was long, but I was determined to get inside. After plunking down $6 for a ticket, drink and popcorn, I bobbed and weaved through the crowd and, in a stroke of good luck, found a perfect spot in the balcony. An isle seat, six rows back. A moment later the lights went out and, accompanied by a blast of glorious horns, trumpets and strings, this appeared on the screen:

By the time Darth Vader’s Imperial Star Destroyer had finished its long, rumbling trek overhead, in pursuit of Princess Leia’s ship as she raced toward Tatooine, I knew my life had changed forever.

“Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.”

For those two action-packed hours, I was immersed in another world, another galaxy, far, far away. The laser gun shoot-outs, the totally awesome Mos Eisley Cantina, the riveting Death Star trench battle…it was almost too much for this 9 year old’s brain to absorb. And when it was over, and the last of the closing credits had faded from the screen, I left the theatre with a renewed sense of purpose. I was going to be a star!

“I don’t know where you get your delusions, laser brains.”

Before the script for The Empire Strikes Back had even been written, I was already reading books on how to become an actor (character study, voice projection, getting an agent etc.). My friends and I would dress up as various characters and act out scenes from the movie. They were all doing it for fun, but I was practicing my “craft” in order to improve my performance level.

“You can waste time with your friends later.”

I remember one time in particular, me, my older cousin, Melody, and a neighbourhood boy, whose name I have forgotten, were acting out a particularly emotional scene in the front yard of my cousin’s house. The one where Governor Tarkin tries to compel Princess Leia to give up the location of the secret rebel base, under threat of blowing up her home planet of Alderaan. I, with my long blonde locks twisted into that famous cinnamon bun hairdo, played the scene to the hilt, fighting back tears, all regal and defiant in the face of such insidious Evil. And then, right at the moment where Tarkin (aka neighbourhood boy) nonchalantly orders his henchmen to proceed with the Death Star’s weapons firing “test” on Alderaan, I yelled “What?!” just as some dude in a truck passed by. My impassioned plea scared the shit out of the poor guy and he lost control of the wheel for a moment. Thankfully, there was no other traffic on the road or things could have turned out very differently.

“Watch your mouth, kid, or you’re gonna find yourself floating home!”

As the years passed, and two more blow-my-mind sequels had come and gone, I maintained my passion for acting but, alas, two years of high-school drama class and various roles in live theatre had not helped to quell my debilitating stage fright (i.e. vomiting, migraines & nightmares for several days leading up to a performance, and then forgetting my lines, missing marks – and occasionally passing out – while onstage). After barely squeaking by with a passing grade in my second year, my drama teacher quietly suggested that perhaps I might consider a different line of work in the entertainment industry.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

By the time I’d graduated high school at age 17 I had pretty much decided to abandon acting and work toward a career as a special effects make-up artist – with hopes of one day getting a really cool job in the creature shop at George Lucas’s Industrial Light & Magic. I got part-time work at a salon/day spa, doing fantasy make-up for people going to costume parties, and models for high-fashion photo shoots and such. But just before I was to move to Montreal to begin my professional training in special effects make-up artistry, family/personal issues forced me to stay put and devote all of my income towards taking care of things on the domestic front.

“Do, or do not. There is no try.”

So, then, in the early '90s, after I’d established myself as an internationally recognized voice-over artist and live radio personality, I got another brilliant idea. I was going to become a fiction writer, along the same lines as Stephen King and Anne Rice. I guess y’all can see where that road has lead me over the years, huh?

“Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed.”

It’s been a long and twisted road toward stardom – and I’ve still got a long way to go.

“The Force will be with you, always.”

KJC (who is celebrating the 30th anniversary by watching Star Wars, Empire and Jedi back-to-back tonight)

40 TV Shows That Left Their Indelible Mark

2007-05-02T20:30:00.001-07:00

A recent blog post by Joseph Mallozzi has inspired me to follow suit and list 40 TV shows (I just couldn't narrow it down to 10, Joe) that had a significant influence on me in my formative years.

1. Gilligan’s Island (1964-1967)

2. Get Smart (1965-1970)

3. The Odd Couple (1970-1975)

4. Emergency! (1972-1979)

5. Adam-12 (1968-1975)

6. Bewitched (1964-1972)

7. I Dream of Jeannie (1965-1970)

8. Star Trek (1966-1969)

9. The Partridge Family (1970-1974)

10. The Brady Bunch (1969-1974)

11. The Six Million Dollar Man (1974-1978)

12. The Bionic Woman (1976-1978)

13. Wonder Woman (1976-1979)

14. The Incredible Hulk (1978-1982)

15. Charlie's Angels (1976-1981)

16. CHiPs (1977-1983)

17. Grizzly Adams (1977-1978)

18. The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries (1977-1979)

19. All in the Family (1971-1979)

20. The Jeffersons (1975-1985)

21. Mork & Mindy (1978-1982)

22. Happy Days (1974-1984)

23. Lavern & Shirley (1976-1983)

24. Welcome Back, Kotter (1975-1979)

25. Three's Company (1977-1984)

26. Eight is Enough (1977-1981)

27. Little House on the Prarie (1974-1983)

28. Battlestar Galactica (1978-1979)

29. Cliffhangers: The Curse of Dracula (1979)

30. The Dukes of Hazzard (1979-1985)

31. The Facts of Life (1979-1988)

32. The Love Boat (1977-1986)

33. Fantasy Island (1978-1984)

34. Spiderman (1967-1970)

35. The Flintstones (1960-1966)

36. Scooby Doo (1969-1972)

37. Knight Rider (1982-1986)

38. Voyagers! (1982-1983)

39. Miami Vice (1984-1989)

40. V: The Series (1984-1985)

I could go on and on (in fact, I had to trim this list down from about 50 faves, including staples such as H.R. Puffnstuf, Lidsville, Land of the Lost, Swiss Family Robinson, Bugs Bunny, Sesame Street, Muppet Show, etc.) but I think you get the picture. I had a full and varied youth when it came to television programming. Nowadays, I pretty much only have time for the big shows, such as Stargate, Heroes, Smallville, Lost, Battlestar Galactica, CSI, Crossing Jordan etc.

KJC

The Power of Fan-Fic

2007-05-02T11:30:00.001-07:00

Y'all know what fan-fic is, right? Fictional stories that regular (i.e. non-entertainment industry) folks write based on their favourite movies and TV shows, using copyrighted characters such as Batman, Hiro Nakamura, Agent Dana Skully, Captain Kirk or Samantha Carter, etc.. Well, my writer friend, Denis, over at Dead Things, sparked a heated debate in the Blogosphere, recently, when he voiced his rather acidic, elitist and condescending opinion about this (usually) harmless & fun hobby. I've been biting my tongue, refraining from posting my thoughts on his blog, because I don't think he and I will ever see eye-to-eye on this subject.

I did the fan-fic thing in my teen years, usually writing myself into my favourite movies and TV shows as a feisty side-kick to Han Solo, Michael Knight (Knight Rider) or Phineas Bogg (Voyagers). Or sometimes I would write myself into a story as a villainess, the protégé of Darth Vader (and wayward grandaughter of Obi-Wan), or as a loyal follower of General Zod, luring Superman into a trap. At the time I wasn't so much concerned with the writing. I concocted these stories to help me with my acting and dialogue recall as, during the early/mid-eighties, my goal was to become an actress. A near failing grade in high school drama due to my debilitating stage fright changed the direction of my life, however.

After discarding my hopes for an acting career, I continued to dabble in fan-fic -- but took it far more seriously. I did intense research, and even went so far as to go 'under cover' once as a Toronto street prostitute in order to nail the lingo and atmosphere for my Forever Knight fan-fic story (yes, it was dangerous, but I got some great sound-bites from a few girls, pimps and clients).

Then, in the mid-nineties, I started watching a show that would forever alter the course of my life. It was an animated series from Disney called Gargoyles. By then, the Internet was becoming the best route through which fans could connect with each other and the people who write, produce and star in their favourite shows. Gargoyles' creator/showrunner, Greg Weisman, often interacted with us, answering questions and posting behind-the-scenes tid-bits (more than a decade later he still does, HERE). He purposely stayed away from the fan-fic forum, though, for legal reasons. I read some of it and thought it was pretty damn good, coming from waitresses, shoe salesmen and gas bar attendants, so I decided to take a crack at it, as I'd never written a piece based on animated characters before.

I started by doing some research on the show and the various myths and legends it was based on and, the more I learned, the more fascinated and excited I became. What was first just going to be a 7 to 10 page fan-fic story eventually evolved into a 300 page manuscript for what I'd hoped would be the first in a series of Gargoyles adult novels, based on the show. Disney, however, didn't see the money-making potential of this particular venture. In fact, they were quite perturbed that I'd written a story using their intellectual property and told me, under no uncertain terms, to just drop the whole thing.

Man, was I ever pissed off! Years and years of research and writing, and I was being ordered to feed it all through the shredder. I don't fucking think so!

Long story short, ten years later the rejected manuscript morphed into the proposal for a live-action fantasy series, called The Black Tower, a multi-million dollar project that is currently making the rounds at various prodcos across North America.

And all of this resulting from my passion for fan-fic. Not bad, eh?

KJC

Science Fiction - A Four Letter Word?

2007-04-13T10:34:00.000-07:00

HERE's the link to an article from WIRED magazine about how writers, publishers and TV show producers shun the term "science fiction" when discussing...uh...science fiction.

Just plain silly.

KJC

A Few of My Favourite Things

2007-04-05T13:30:00.000-07:00

Here's a Top 10 list of products I love and buy regularly (in no particular order). Perhaps you'd like to give 'em a try. Got any suggestions of your own?

1. Miss Vickie's potato chips. God help me, it's pure delicious sin in a bag.

2. Bare Escentuals foundation & finishing powder. It's fucking expensive (costs more per gram than coke) but, damn, I look totally awesome after I "swirl, tap and buff" it all over my face and neck. It's not a talc-based powder, it's ground up earth minerals, so it looks better, stay on longer and doesn't cause skin irritation. Available online or at Sephora stores in Canada and the States.

3. No Name Brand mayonnaise. I couldn't find a picture or a link but it's the yellow label brand you find at Loblaws. They altered their recipe about a year ago. It was good before but now...oooh...so good I eat it by the spoonful right out of the jar.

4. Compliments (Sobeys) brand green apple soda. I don't drink pop much. It usually takes me half a year to finish off a 12 pack of Coke or Pepsi. Then I discoverd this stuff a few weeks back and now I'm hooked.

5. Vineyard Mist sparkling fuit-flavoured wines. Available at Loblaws, it's the only wine I drink at home. Packs quite a wallup, too. My lips and cheeks go numb after drinking just one glass -- which is why I drink it at home. The world isn't safe with me wandering the streets drunker than a sailor on shore leave.

6. Clean & Clear astringent by Johnson & Johnson. When it comes time to wash off all the crap on my face at the end of the day, scrubbing with soap just isn't enough. This astringent, which costs around $5 CAD, gets right into those pores, cleans and disinfects the skin like nothing I've ever seen or used before -- and I used to work at a spa/salon where you'd have to pay $35 for a bottle about the same size.

7. KFC poutine with extra gravy in a separate container. Holy mother, I think I eat 3 to 5 of these every week. I've actually broken down in tears a few times when I got to the restaurant just seconds after they closed up for the night. Seriously, who do I have to write to, to get a 24 hour KFC in this friken town?!

8. Lush hand-made soaps. They're expensive but they're also 100% all-natural, made from fresh fruits, vegetables, flowers, grasses, seaweed, tar, clay etc. with no preservatives or harsh chemicals. They have a limited shelf-life so you should use 'em up quickly, or put them in the freezer like I do and defrost one bar at a time, as needed. I have a stockpile of about 50 bars (yeah, FIFTY!) because I'm a dirty, dirty girl.

9. Loose leaf tea. I'm a huge tea drinker, very serious about it, like some folks are with wine. The Tea Emporium has a fantastic selection and my friend, Rob, brings back several packages of the stuff for me every time he goes to Toronto to visit his family. Thank you, Rob!

10. Costco mega muffins. Seriously, how can you resist this? Yummy Goodness!

Got Soap?

2007-04-05T11:32:00.000-07:00

The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of its guests. The hotel ended up submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times.

Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman

Dear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory. Kathy, Relief Maid

Dear Maid I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them. S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman, My day off was last Wednesday, so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance. Your regular maid. Dotty

Dear Mr. Berman, The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints, please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you. Elaine Carmen Housekeeper

Dear Miss Carmen, It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me? S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman, Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you, Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper

Dear Mr. Kensedder, My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets. S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman, I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience. Martin L. Kensedder Assistant Manager

Dear Mrs. Carmen, Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial. S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman, You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them moved. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room. Elaine Carmen Housekeeper

Dear Mrs. Carmen, Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory.

As of today I possess: - On the shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. - On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3. - On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, - 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4. - Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. - In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist. - On the northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used. - On the northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings. S. Berman

I Killed My Bunny -- Three Times!

2007-03-23T10:38:00.000-07:00

I never would have passed the first year of medical school with this kind of track record. See if you can perform better surgery on your bunny by clicking HERE.

KJC

My Cats Dodged a Bullet

2007-03-22T13:16:00.000-07:00

Over the past few months dozens of name-brand canned and semi-soft pouch foods have killed or permanently damaged the kidneys of dozens of dogs and cats across North America, resulting in a massive recall.

My two cats, Aries (top) and Gillian (bottom), just barely dodged that bullet. I usually buy one of the brands of semi-soft that have done some serious damage (I had the box in my hand and was headed for the check-out) but switched when I saw that I had a 50 percent off coupon for another brand in my purse. Whew!

KJC

His Very First Writing Credit

2007-03-06T11:14:00.000-08:00

Can you imagine what Chris Zatta is feeling right now? After years of toiling away as a low-paid P.A. he finally got his very first writing credit -- and it was for yesterday's kick-ass episode of HEROES called "Parasite". This boy's career is going to sky-rocket now...I hope.

HERE's an interview he did with series director/producer Greg Beeman.

KJC

Storytelling by Committee

2007-02-24T12:31:00.000-08:00

Stargate: Altantis writer/producer Joe Mallozzi has been getting a lot of flack from fans via his blog regarding some major cast changes (i.e. characters dying or being pushed to the background, while new characters -- or old favourites -- join the team) and subsequent changes in the show's creative direction. In addition to all the message board chatter Joe mentions the numerous letter writing campaigns that have been launched by fans in protest over some of the decisions he and his production team have made.

Here's Joe:

Obviously we don’t write in a vacuum. We must be aware of what viewers like and don’t like, and the individual preferences of the various entities involved in the show’s production. As writers, there are times when we’ll agree. And there are other times, we’ll respectfully disagree. And it’s in striking the appropriate balance that a successful show gets produced.

Of course some fans will be upset but I would argue that there have been many instances in the past where fans have reacted negatively to spoilers and then tuned in and been, if not pleasantly surprised, then not quite so enraged as they expected.

Like I said, I was being brutally honest which, obviously, can be an extremely unpopular position to take. Letter writing campaigns are great in that they are an expression of fan passion and they offer us insights into what fans want to see, but they are not going to cause us to unmake a major decision at this stage and it would be disingenuous to lead you on and make you believe otherwise. While I could say that I’d like nothing better than to craft every step of Atlantis’s fourth season in response to fan requests and demands, developing relationships and storylines based on the most recent online polls, that’s not the way t.v. works. And Stargate isn’t the exception in this regard. There is a big difference between producing a show for our viewers (which we all do), and allowing online fan critiques and letter-writing campaigns to determine how a series progresses. In all fairness, a decision that may prove incredibly unpopular with one section of fandom may prove popular with another. Ultimately, rather than having it come down to which faction makes the most noise, we are basing our creative decisions on what is best for the show. Believe it or not.

So, while the Stargate producers do appreciate fan input, letter writing campaigns are ultimately a waste of time. Case in point: During a recent phone conversation I had with a former production office employee, this person laughingly recalled the day they'd received a 10,000 signature petition demanding the return of Michael "Daniel Jackson" Shanks to the show. That hard-earned document was barely glanced at by the assistant before being promptly tossed into the trash. It wasn't until a few moments after I had ended my phone call with the former office employee that I remembered: "Hey, I signed that fucking petition!"

So, yeah, I was pissed off. But I also get why they did it. There is only one show I know of that was written by fan/viewer committee, by endless polls and surveys on everything from the sex and age of guest characters to what they wore, plot sequences, types of dwellings used, right on down to what animals appeared on the show. I'm talking about the 1970s series The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams. Sure, it worked for them but I'm not sure that Tv production entirely by fan committee would work today -- especially on shows as complex and multi-layered as Stargate: Atlantis, The Black Tower -- or even Heroes, where fans are already in an uproar over the sudden death of a main character in last week's episode (RIP Simone).

Which brings up another point. Killing your babies. In screenwriting, killing your babies means deleting a really cool line of dialogue or a totally awesome scene you wrote and absolutely love...but ultimately doesn't fit in with the grand scheme of things. But I'm talking about the actual death of beloved characters, for shock value or to move the scene/episode/series in another direction. Or sometimes, as it was for Michael Shanks, it's because the actor is itching to move on to other things and wants off the show. Whatever the reason, killing off main characters can be a really risky business. Lost has done it. So has 24, Alias, Spooks/MI:5, Desperate Housewives..it's becoming a trend, I dare say.

Here's Joe's take on the issue:

I have a lot of respect for British television. Whether you’re watching a comedy like The Office or Little Britain, a thriller like Spooks or Heist, or a procedural like Cracker or Wire in the Blood, the only thing you as a viewer can ever truly count on is the unexpected. Take Spooks for example (and for those who haven’t watched the first three seasons of this brilliant spy series, also known as MI-5 in North America, maybe you should stop reading now because we‘re heading into spoiler territory). It constantly challenges the viewer’s natural inclination toward complacency. On Spooks, no one is safe. This fact becomes readily apparent during an early first season episode in which a character meets a horrifically gruesome end by deep-fryer. Granted, the initial shock was somewhat mitigated by the fact that she wasn’t a headliner. They would never, after all, off a series regular, right? Think again. And again. And again. By the start of the show’s fourth season, the three original leads were gone. I was shocked. I loved Tom, Danny, and Zoe and lamented their respective departures. Furthermore, I was initially unconvinced by new recruits Adam, Raza, and Olga. And yet, I have to admit that, despite the changes, Spooks still managed produce quality stories that made me care about the supporting players, these new additions to the cast, and the world of MI-5 as a whole. In retrospect, the decision to change up the show, while risky, made it that much better because it emphasized the dangers these people faced doing a very dangerous job. They were that much realer because, as in real life, they could be taken away from us at any moment. Fans of the show came to the sudden realization that they couldn’t take anything for granted. Every time the team headed out on a mission, there was the possibility that someone might not come back. And just in case fans had allowed themselves a brief respite, assuming the show’s producers wouldn’t dare make anymore changes so soon, the producers did just that - offing yet another series regular. And it was just as shocking and as effective because, again, it was unexpected.

Scifi fans have it a little easier because in the fantastical world of science fiction the impossible can become possible. Specifically, death is not all that definitive. For instance, it’s unlikely we’ll see a future episode of Spooks in which Danny returns to corporeal form after spending time as a higher being. On the other hand, it’s theoretically possible for something like this to occur on SG-1, even Atlantis. (I must emphasize the word “theoretically”, natch). In this respect, scifi fans have the best of both worlds - the dynamic uncertainty that comes with effective drama AND a backdoor loophole that allows for the THEORETICAL reappearance of long-lost characters. “No one ever dies in science fiction,“Brad Wright is fond of saying. In fact, undeceasing deceased characters has become truly fashionable over on SG-1 where Daniel Jackson, Martouf, and Janet Fraiser have proven that even the act of dying can’t keep a good character down. And then there’s dead-but-not-quite-gone Apophis who has probably put in more reappearances than any offed character in Stargate history. Still, with each ending-for-now comes a new beginning. Without George Hammond’s departure, we never would have been introduced to Hank Landry. If the System Lords had never been defeated, we would not have encountered the Ori. And Ford’s departure from the Atlantis team allowed for the introduction of Ronon Dex.

Over the course of a show’s run, characters will come and go (and, occasionally, come back again). Things change. In that respect, a t.v. show is not unlike real life. And although I’m sure some fans will disagree, I personally think that’s a good thing.

Speaking as a fan, I don't like to see characters I've come to know and love just die all of a sudden. It irritates me -- and you risk alienating me as a viewer. But as a producer, I can see the dramatic impact of killing off main characters. Without revealing too much, I will say that fans of The Black Tower will see the tragic demise of more than one beloved character. But remember, just as Brad Wright said, "No one ever dies in science fiction." ;-)

KJC

Lucy & Renee Shake Their Boo-Tay!

2007-02-06T23:09:00.000-08:00

Lucy Lawless performed at the Roxy on the Sunset Strip a few weeks back, as part of the festivities for the annual Xena Convention in Burbank. Apparently, from what my friend, Xena writer/producer Steve Sears tells me, the crowd was so riled up that "NASA reported seeing a fluttering of the flag next to the original moonsite" during her performance. Awesome! Co-star Renee O'Connor (Gabrielle) joined Lucy on stage dressed in skin tight blue satin and shaking her booty like she was a backup dancer for Tina Turner.

Looks like everybody had a wonderful time. Wish I coulda been there.

KJC

Dealing With Writers Block

2007-01-16T15:36:00.000-08:00

The lovely and talented Will Wheaton was discussing his recent bout of writers block. I really feel for the guy. Writers block (aka procrastination) can be a nightmare when you're a screenwriter working on a strict deadline and every day that passes without a finished script means a loss of $200,000 to the production and 150 people (cast/crew) twiddling their thumbs.

Thankfully, (or perhaps not) I'm not at the point where I have to deal with those kinds of issues just yet but, nonetheless, when I'm trying to bang out story ideas for my show but nothing's coming to me, I switch into 'actor' mode.

I stand in the middle of a room, with no distractions, and become several different characters, all engaging each other in conversation. I speak aloud and imagine I'm looking straight into the eyes of all these other people as I talk, complain, argue, yell. I find that, when I hit my groove and I'm really in the moment, the most amazing things come out of my mouth. New characters emerge, confusing plotlines suddenly become clear. The flat, uninspired dialogue I'd written in draft suddenly sparks with renewed passion, intrigue and subtext as I change things up a little while speaking. Hints of what could be in future episodes start tingling at the back of my brain. Hearing myself say all of the words my characters would/should say, using the same dialects, accents, inflections (thanks to my training as a voice-over artist) forces my brain to act and react on both a conscious and subconscious level. Instead of just sitting down at a computer staring at a blank screen in boredome and frustration, I become someone else. Someone who is clever, devious, seductive, desperate, anxious, confused, frightened or in pain, and it's the onslaught of those emotions zipping through my mind, body and soul during one of those 10 minute acting sessions that seems to re-ignite my creative juices.

That's how I managed to write 44 brilliant episode synopses and a two-hour series finale for a show that isn't even on the air yet. Now, I just need to hire a team of extraordinarily talented screenwriters to turn those ideas into shootable scripts.

KJC

Music to Soothe the Soul

2007-01-03T11:44:00.000-08:00

I like a lot of different types of music. Jazz/Big-Band (Louis Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald, Frank Sinatra, Tommy Dorsey, Terra Hazelton, Michael Bublé, and my friend Matt Dusk), Folk/Blues (Stevie Ray Vaughan, Van Morrison, Ray Charles, Colin James, and my dear friend Jeff Rogers), Gospel/R&B (the Supremes, the Temptations, Fats Domino, Luther Vandross, Aretha Franklin), Classical (I'm partial to Vivaldi, Wagner and Mozart), Pop (everything from classic artists of the 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s right on up to the new kids on the block such as Aleisha Keys, Pink, Kelly Clarkson, and my friends Jennie Laws and Samantha Newark), Rock/Alternative (Beatles, Rolling Stones, Sting, U2, Phil Collins, Bryan Adams, Jeff Martin, The Panic Channel, Three Days Grace, NIN) , Goth/Industrial (Evanescence, Within Temptation, Klayton Scott) and Old World/New Age (African tribal, Austrailan aboriginal, Middle Eastern, Greek, Celtic, N.A. Indian).

But there is just something about Country/Bluegrass that speaks to my soul like no other music does. While I can listen to the occasional tune from Garth Brooks, Shania Twain, Alison Krauss and Travis Tritt, I absolutely love the music of classic artists such as Patsy Cline, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, George Jones, Charlie Pride, Bill Munroe and Earl Scruggs.

Recently, I discovered a relative newcomer to the world of country/bluegrass. Two teenage brothers from Canada, named John and James Abrams, who were already performing on stage at ages 6 and 9. They even played to a captive audience at the Grand Ole Opry in 2005, God bless 'em. These boys are so talented, there's not a doubt in my mind that they're going to become superstars of the country music industry very soon.

KJC

The Art of the Shmooze

2006-12-28T10:38:00.000-08:00

Jim Henshaw posted a very interesting entry in his blog today about shmoozers. You know, those charming and witty social butterflies who either make you feel more comfortable at a party full of strangers by making a point to include you in the festivities, or make you feel pathetic and inadequate because you couldn't tell a joke to Steven Spielberg to save your life...or your career.

While I am still relatively new to the film & television industry, my somewhat unique position as both a talent manager/publicist and a screenwriter/producer means that I have to be charming and funny, the life of the party, and then come through when it's time to get down to business, when millions of dollars are at stake.

I enjoy shmoozing. I like talking to people, hearing their stories, learning more about their lives, their passions and their ambitions. OK, yeah, I'm nosey, and if you don't want to share, then run the other way when you see me heading your way at a party, all right? You've been warned.

Anyway, I may be a social butterfly (an apt word if you've ever watched me work a room, fluttering from person to person, engaging them in conversation, making new introductions etc.) but I also work 100 to 110 hours a week trying to further my own career and that of my clients by doing whatever's necessary to get the job done, as near to perfectly as is humanly possible. Partly due to my obsessive-compulsive disorder, I'm sure. Yeah, I may have this "thing" about turning locks and doorknobs 20 times before walking away — but you sure as Hell would want me proof-reading your script before you send it off to ICM, or ironing your suit before you get up on stage to collect that Emmy award.

I do a lot of networking and I've dated a lot people in powerful, high-profile positions (it's a fact, really, I'm not trying to brag), and if/when they ask me to work for them in some capacity on a short or long-term project, I do my absolute best to come through for them, whatever the task. Not just because it may help further my own career by being a highly motivated get-along girl, but because anything less than my absolute best, most earnest effort is simply not good enough.

It would seem from Jim Henshaw's post that that kind of attitude and work ethic is not all that common in Hollywood — or here in Canada, either. C'est dommage, n'est pas?

KJC

YouTube Comments

2006-12-27T12:10:00.000-08:00

I visit YouTube a lot, and have sometimes been blown away by the absolute stupidity of those who comment on the videos they've just watched. Wil Wheaton directed me to THIS cartoon which depicts a typical situation. Thanks for the laugh, Wil!

KJC

Top 10 Lesbian Vampire Flicks

2006-11-02T10:19:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Lee Goldberg for directing me to this awesome list of Top Ten Lesbian Vampire flicks. Number one on the list is my favourite, too!

KJC (I want to suck your...um...blood?)

Notes on Notes

2006-10-31T11:42:00.000-08:00

For those who don't work in the biz, notes are the "suggestions" given by studio executives and producers, changes that are to be made to the script you wrote before it goes into production. Most of the time, writers read those notes and think to themselves: "Did this fuckwit even read my script? What the Hell is he talking about?" That's how frustrating it gets, sometimes. Well, former Star Trek: TNG writer, Diane Duane, offers her thoughts on those dreaded studio notes in her blog, and reminisces about the power struggle that took place during the early years of NextGen, before creator Gene Roddenberry died. I know a few folks who were around at that time. Some of them actors, some of them writers and low-level producers of the show. Only now, years later, are they coming forth (online) to tell their side of the story.

KJC

Hardware Wars

2006-10-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

I first saw THIS Star Wars spoof when I was maybe 10 or 11...a few months after Lucas's movie left the theatres. I saw it only once, and images from it (a flying iron, a non-coherent villain, a real cinnamon bun hairdo) remain etched into my memory to this day. Thank God for YouTube!

KJC

I'm in the TV Guide Again

2006-10-23T12:14:00.000-07:00

This is the 12th time in two years that a letter (well, an email, really) has been featured in their mag. They must really like me down at TV Guide headquarters, eh?

Here's what you'll read on page 2 of the Oct. 28 - Nov. 3 2006 issue of TV Guide Canada:

QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Who is your favourite TV superhero?

I enjoyed Adam West in the comedic role of Batman as a kid, but it wasn't until I was exposed to Frank Miller's "The Dark Knight Returns" graphic novel in 1986, followed by Tim Burton's "Batman" movie in 1989, that I totally fell in love with the character. I'm attracted to the dark and brooding anti-hero on so many levels. Emotionally damaged after witnessing the brutal death of his parents, Bruce Wayne educated himself in various fighting techniques and used his family's massive wealth to buy cars, 'copters and other wonderful toys to battle evil and corruption in Gotham City in the guise of his leather-clad alter-ego, Batman. What I wouldn't give to be his loyal sidekick, Dark Angel.

They omitted this last sentence for obvious reasons:

That is, of course, after pansy-assed Robin perishes in an unfortunate "accident".

It's a shame that the printed version of TV Guide Canada will cease to exist next month. They're going to be an online only publication, partly to save money but also in order to keep updated with the constant stream of scheduling changes by the networks. Makes sense, I suppose -- but I'll still miss being able to flip through the magazine as I watch TV in bed.

KJC

A Great Senior Moment

2006-10-21T09:25:00.000-07:00

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one," the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing, and..." He paused to take a swig of beer.

The senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young. So, we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shithead, what are you doing for the next generation?"

You go, Grandpa!

KJC

A Psychic Connection With Animals

2006-10-16T21:32:00.000-07:00

I had a weird psychic connection to one of my cats a few years back. Aries (named in honour of my birth sign) had broken free from his leash -- but part of the 15 foot leash was still attached to his collar as he ran off into the woods right behind my home. He often went there, for hours at a time, to hunt and play but I was very concerned that the dragging leash would get snagged on something, so I went looking for him. Hours later, with the sun now gone, there was still no sign of him. It was nearing midnight, 10˚ Celsius and pouring rain. I had to go to work in a few hours so, full of guilt and fear, I abandoned my search and went to bed to try and get some sleep.

Sometime, just after daybreak, I had a dream that Aries was tangled in the bushes about 90 feet from my apartment building, and 7 feet away from an old gardening shed used by maintenance workers. He was cold, wet and very hungry, meowing for me to come and rescue him. I woke from the dream, put on some shoes and went searching for him in my PJs, going directly to the spot where he told me he was in my dream.

And guess where I found him. Yup. About 7 feet away from the old shed, wet and shivering, his leash completely tangled in shrubbery, just as I'd seen in my dream. If I hadn't found him, he most surely would have died of hunger & exposure.

I've always had a bit of a psychic bent, but this was the first time I'd had such a strong connection with an animal.

KJC

The Night Is My World

2006-10-16T14:18:00.001-07:00

I was talking to a friend, a while back, about "morning people" vs "night people". He's a morning person and enjoys starting each day fresh with the sun, full of hope, expectation and excitement.
That is definitely not me.

I am a night person to the core of my being and I don't think I'll ever be able to shake myself out of it -- I'm not even sure I want to.

Getting up for school as a teenager was tough for me but I did it -- and hated it. But, after I graduated, my first job was working at a movie theatre. That meant I had to stay sharp and perky right up to midnight.

Then, in addition to that job, I got hired as a busser/cleaner at a night club, which meant that, after I left the theatre, I went straight to the club and worked until 2 to 3am. And, in addition to that, I got hired as the lead singer for a pop/rock band, so when not at the theatre or the club I worked at, I was singing on stage and then partying afterward with 'fans' until 5...6am. That pretty much locked me into a late night lifestyle.

When I got into radio broadcasting my shifts were usually somewhere in the 8pm to 6am range so, again, the night was my time to shine. Then, I launched P.A. Plus, working as a 24 hour on-call personal assistant to wealthy businessmen in the area, which meant that, once again, I was expected to burn the midnight oil on a regular basis.

There was a brief period in there where I was hired as the office manager for a construction firm, working 8am to 6pm., Mon to Fri., and I nearly suffered a nervous breakdown. My body and brain were just screaming "No, this isn't right! What are you doing, waking up with the morning sun? Go back to bed, damnit!" Subsequently, I gained 30 lbs., went into a depression and became near suicidal. It wasn't until after I quit and slid back into my late night lifestyle that I "found" myself again.

There's this song, a favourite 80s hit of mine, that has served as the theme song for my life since I was about 16 years old, and when darkness falls and the moon is full, you'll find me wandering the streets singing "You Belong to the City, You Belong to the Night, Living in a River of Darkeness, Beneath the Neon Lights" by Glenn Frey.

KJC

I Love Shoes!

2006-10-16T10:18:00.000-07:00

I'm a major shop-a-holic and often comfort myself with some well-deserved retail therapy when things get a little stressful. I make a decent living but I grew up dirt poor, so I learned at a very young age how to spend wisely and buy only what I need. But I do have one weakness, though.

SHOES!

I can't get enough when it comes to shoes. They are an addiction, I readily admit that. I think I might even need to see a psychiatrist about this someday.

You think I'm joking? Well, you wouldn't if you saw my closet, which is literally filled to the rafters with well over a hundred pairs of shoes and fashion boots -- with matching purses -- all in different styles, colours, heel heights and price ranges. I have some I bought at the Salvation Army or Value Village for $2 (never worn!) and some I bought at high end retailers for $200-$300. I love my cheap Zellers, Sears and Walmart brand shoes just as much as I love my Manolo Blahniks's and Jimmy Choos. Just like children, each are special and very important to me, regardless of their lineage.

And, being an artist, I'm not one to just settle for what I might find on store shelves. If the colour or style isn't quite right to suit my needs or the outfit/purse I'm buying them for, I paint and decorate them with chains, ribbons, rhinestones, pearls, beads, silk flowers...all kinds of doo-dads, making them one-of-a-kind functional works of art that I'm very proud to display on my size 9-W feet.

While I respect and adore my plain business shoes with the one or two inch heel, I tend to gravitate toward the more daring and sexy shoe. The higher the heel, the better! Remember that scene in Sex and the City where Carrie Bradshaw is walking down the street and stops dead when she sees a pair of kick-ass Manolo's in a store window? "Hello, lover," she sighs with desperate longing. Well, that's me. When I need my shoe fix I go to the nearest mall and fondle every pair that catches my eye. I like to touch them, to smell them...sometimes I even kiss them, if I see no one is watching. If I have time, I try them on, and if they fit perfectly, I plop down my credit card and take them home to join the rest of my babies.

And, while I love them all, I do have one particular pair that never, ever fails to get attention when I'm walking down the street -- most notably by the male population -- and that's my black faux leather, thigh-high, five inch stiletto-heeled boots. I'm only five feet tall, so those suckers practically go up to my ying-yang. LOL! When my TV series finally goes on the air and I'm acting in the recurring role of KEL, the vampire queen of the Underground, I am SO going to include those in my wardrobe.

KJC

Why I Blog

2006-10-16T10:11:00.000-07:00

Before you read my post, you might want to check out THIS New York Magazine article about showbiz/celebrity blogs and bloggers. You don't have to, but it would give you a form of reference as I post my response to it, below.

OK.

I dislike celebrity gossip sites such as Gawker, Smoking Gun and PerezHilton immensely and if could sabotage their servers and take them off-line forever I would. I don't like people who spread malice by talking trash about others and flinging personal insults which they believe are funny and witty. It's a form of schoolyard bullying elevated to an international forum, and it's just despicable. Professionally speaking, these kinds of blogs/websites keep me chained to my computer for 12 to 16 hours a day as I gather info about my clients and plan/execute damage control strategies. It just drains me, physically and spiritually, and makes me feel embarassed to be a member of the Human race.I am not a C-list blogger -- or even a D-lister. I have no demographic, theme or target audience. My blog has a mix of personal, professional and humorous posts that are fit for anyone to read and, hopefully, enjoy. I'm not interested in page visits. That number means nothing to me. I want my blog entries to enlighten and inspire, to make you laugh and cry and get all fired up over an issue that is just as important to you as it is to me (i.e. animal abuse, child sex slavery, envirmonmental protection, growing your own indoor herbal tea garden, finding a decent foundation and finishing powder that doesn't cost $50). My posts are all over the map, and so are my readers. Some are teenagers from Canada, the U.S., Britain...all over. They're wealthy, over-achieving preppies, slacker wannabe rock stars who think school is for losers, and black lipstick-wearing Goths who cut themselves to relieve the pain of their miserable lives. Some readers are 20-40 year olds who are bouncing from job to job, still trying to find their niche in life, while others are rock stars, actors, producers, screenwriters...Some are 40-60 years old, married/divorced with grand-kids, who make furniture in their spare time, live on a farm and raise sheep, work in construction, government or retail.

I'm generally a very friendly and open individual and as long as you're a good person with a good heart I will consider you a friend and take the time to get to know you better, learn more about who you are, you're life philosophies and ambitions because I really and truly care about you.

When I lay on my deathbed I want to be able to say that I made some truly awesome friends along the way, not that I had a strong readership in the male 18-35 demographic, y'know?

KJC

PS: HERE's an article about screenwriting blogs, which mentions a few of my showbiz comrades